Challenge Update - week 5

So it’s been 5 weeks since I started my personal take on my own challenge and up until week 4 I was going great guns.  Then the dreaded stomach flu bug that has been doing the rounds hit. I spent three days curled up on the sofa in serious pain eating porridge and toast as staples to try and keep my energy levels up.

I can honestly say I have never felt stomach pain quite like that before.  It was quite horrendous.  What was upsetting was it was the run up to my best friends’ wedding day and the last thing I wanted was to be an ill bridesmaid.  Thankfully, the pains etc had eased by the big day and Clare and Giles’ day was simply perfect. I have to admit I couldn’t look at Clare while Glyn and I performed the song for her and Giles' first dance, as I could feel myself getting teary.  It was a pleasure, honour and joy to perform that for them and I’m so proud of them both. Enough gushing, haha!

The downside to the three days on not eating properly and no exercise was that I had to drop out of the Spartan Super race that I have been so looking forward to, and kiss goodbye to my Trifecta hopes for this year. But that means I have more time to work harder, be faster and compete properly next year. Something I have learned over the years, is that there is no end to goals, even when they are initially achieved; the posts just move. While I might not have gained the Trifecta this year, I am still going to be running the Beast in November and I have the Nottingham Half Marathon to look forward to this weekend.

On the challenge side, I haven’t measured or checked my Body Fat and will do that on Monday next week, the start of week 6.  What has happened though is that I have re-discovered my productivity streak.  I am suddenly waking up at 6:30/7am and hitting the ground running, the background stuff for the challenge is in place and I have a number of people on board already. I’m very excited to get this challenge up and running but also nervous at the same time.

I have discovered that I actually quite like the ‘fear’ feeling that comes with starting new projects.  Facing fear is one of the most important things we can do. Fear, after all, is a natural emotion when we do something new but it is also momentary; regret lasts forever.  Sometimes just the decision to try something new is enough to instil fear, and then attacking that new project shows us what we are capable of. If we can apply that to the small things, then the bigger things start to not look so big at all.

So this weekend is my Half Marathon challenge….I’m so under prepared for it but heck, the aim is just to finish it in whatever time it takes. And then Monday the challenge kicks off, as do my new classes at a local community centre.  So it’s all go. I’m looking forward to the next 12 weeks helping to motivate others online, and to help them achieve their goal to start and implement a new healthy lifestyle.   

Until then be kind to yourself, always.

Krissie

x

All progress, no matter how small, is progress

So I thought I would post an update on how I'm doing with the challenge while I continue to write the information/routines/etc for the challenge proper as it has become known in my workings.

In my last post I said this was was going to be an interesting time for me personally, due to how manic it's going to get while I get the challenge up underway as well as go through it myself, and September has proven to be a bitch of a month already.

While I have yet to film any of the workouts, I have done the bare bones of the routines, and am fine tuning them ready to film them - plus I have the arduous task (not really but I like that word) of listening to reams of rock and metal to use as the background music to get the people who will be

undertaking the challenge pumped.  I really hope the music I'm picking will work for them as much as it works for me.

The end of the first week of my personal challenge saw me attend my hobby weekend of live action roleplay and usually I partake in far too much alcohol, but this year I was very well behaved on that front.  Also due to not being a staff member this year, I no longer have access to a kitchen so was forced to improvise as best as possible while still having to venture to the burger van in the evenings for dinner. Not ideal but when that is the only food vendor on site you have no other choice really.
The plus side of the hobby, is the amount of running around that is undertaken when in game. It can be none stop walking from game start at 10am to finish at 2am. I was thrilled to do a number of hill sprints and not have any niggles from the old IT Band.  It feels wonderful to be back to full strength after a year and half.

Last weekend also saw the start of my Spartan season, with the Cambridge Sprint.  I did full review of the race for those wonderful folk over at Mudstacle.  Their site is well worth checking out if you fancy doing obstacle course racing/mud runs. OCRs genuinely put the fear of the gods into me.  I have no idea what's coming up in the way of obstacles, I just know I'll be tested.  I also know that the terrain can be damned tricky to run on and I'm always wary of turning over on my ankle. The race was good fun, it always is, even when I arrive with a knot in the pit of my stomach and all rationale telling me to get in the car and just go home. But if I listened to that voice, I wouldn't be doing the job I do now... so!

The one thing I do need to invest in somehow is a rope to climb, but my ceilings are low so it wouldn't work in the house gym.  No I need a rope climb somewhere where it's going to challenge, so I may have to chat to the boys at the gym I attend.  This weekend the band has a gig in County Durham, and the morning after we are racing in Yorkshire. So another busy weekend ahead. And while I am off on the road I thought I would do an update with where I am at the 'almost' 3 week mark.

So the 'almost' 3 week stats:

• Waist 34 1/4 inches (loss of 1 inch)
• Hips 40 inches (loss of 1 3/4 inches)
  
  • Ratio: 0.85 (down from 0.87)
• Weight 159.4lbs (loss of almost 3lbs)

I'm not going to test my body fat until week 8 as I require the help of one of my fellow PTs to do the caliper measurements for me. But all in all for just under 3 weeks that's not a bad at all.  I'm very chuffed with that. As I stated before, for me this challenge isn't about weight loss it's about fat loss and building my strength.  So it's all going in the right direction, which gives me great hope for how my challengers are going to do if they work at it.  And that, I suppose is the crux, even though I've had a weekend where my options weren't the best they could have been I've still maintained the programme I set myself for the most part, and the poof is in the results.

I will probably do a week six update, although I may just post my stats a week Monday when I return from Scotland to see how I'm continuing.

Until then, if you want more information about the challenge then please see the KrissieKirby.com blog and sign up to be the first to know when registration opens.


As always be kind to yourself,
Krissie
xx

First of 4 mudpits, after a lovely barbed wire crawl!

Screw you, fire! \m/

Bring it, boys! Was in fact what I said here, for real!

 A small selection of pictures from the race on the weekend, with thanks to Epic Action Imagery.

The dreaded BEFORE pictures!

It's always the same.  I take lots of pictures of my progress and rarely put them up.  Yet for the challenge that will be launching at the end of September, I am going to be asking my awesome participants to take a series of before pictures so that when they finish the challenge they have a tangible view of how they have done, as well as a set of measurements etc.

So while I am undergoing the testing and planning phase of this challenge, before I launch it on 12 excited people, here are my 'before' pictures.  In general I am pleased with where I am, but there is always room for improvement and I do feel that I could do with getting rid of some of the fat that I have around my body.  I want to feel tighter and less floppy (as I told you before it is a highly technical term that...floppy).  Also by being very public about my own trial of the challenge, I am forced to practice what I preach, as all of us personal trainers should to be quite frank. Why on earth would I have you pay me to offer something I wouldn't do myself? Just doesn't make sense.  Also this is most definitely about what the individual wants/feels for themselves, so before any comments of 'but you look great' come through - thank you I feel great, I just want to feel even better and that's no bad thing :)

What will be fascinating, on a personal level, is that during this 12 weeks, I have a hobby weekend, 3 Spartan Sprints, a Spartan super, a half Marathon, my best friend's wedding, and a whole host of gigging on top of working with clients, teaching bootcamps etc and all the daily paperwork that goes with owning your own business. So juggling this challenge and all that as well as getting all the background for the challenge set up is going to make for a VERY interesting and exceptionally busy time. In short of I can do it.... remember, NO EXCUSES! ;)

So here goes, these were taken on August 14th and I shall take the final pictures on Sunday 3rd of November.

If you are interested in learning more about the 12 week Challenge which will be starting on Monday September 30th 2013, and you'd like to register your interest, then please visit the Official KrissieKirby.com Blog

Until the next time, be kind to yourself always

Krissie
x

Challenge accepted

So for those of you that read the krissiekirby.com blog, you will have seen that I'm taking up my own challenge for 12 weeks to improve my eating habits and fitness levels.

I know some of you may be thinking that there is nothing I could/need to change about my current habits but rest assured there are and most trainers fall into a habit of sorting plans and nutrition for their clients while sacrificing their own regimen. Well, I have fallen foul of that in the last few months since I started the business and it's starting to show.  I feel lethargic, lacking in energy, motivation and my discipline has gone out the window with the chocolate wrappers that once held the bars I've been vehemently scoffing.

It's time to reset and get myself back in order, after all I am my product and I can't expect anyone to buy my services if I look all loose and floppy (these are highly technical terms, honest 'guv!).

When I started KrissieKirby.com the idea was not only to have the physical face to face side but also a virtual arm, where I could take on a small number of clients and give them something structured but with a degree of flexibility and be adaptable for their particular circumstances, as no two people are the same.  Of course this virtual system has to be put together and tested, tweaked and perfected, and so far it's taken a bit of a back seat to the rest of the business while I concentrated on getting Forest Fitness and Pole Port Talbot up and running. At the same time, my own training schedule fell by the wayside even though I have had runs and OCRs to train for.  I have been more than lackadaisical. 

So today I put out the initial feelers for the first 12 week programme. The idea is that for 12 weeks, 12 participants will follow my plan, with some minor amendments to personalise the plans to each participant and for me to help them get back on track; with a view to really seeing a change in their lives in general, not just in their waistlines.  But as with all things I do, I'm not prepared to let someone do something I won't. So instead of a focus group I've decided to do the challenge myself and blog, vlog and log about it to show how achievable it is.  Yes, I am putting my name to the test and why not?  I believe so much in what I do that I'm willing to put my own journey out there (or on here) for everyone to see, similar to when I first started this blog. I'm just going to put this here, first as last, that there will not be any meal replacement shakes, or 'nutritional' shakes included in this plan. I firmly believe that with the correct planning and education you can maintain a well balanced diet and a single multi vit tablet is just as good if you are defitient in any nutrients and aren't able to get them from your food.  Just to be clear :)

So here goes!

I believe that the weighing scales are purely an indicator of our relationship with gravity. Most people don't believe that I am over 11 stone in weight when I tell them, but it's true. I've got good muscles ;) but I do have a higher than I would like body fat percentage (currently at 28%) and my waist to hip ratio is slightly higher than the recommended number.  So this is where I want to focus my attention and fat loss is what we're always aiming for. There is a phrase I've just used that is key to this, 'higher than I would like", this is important because fat loss and healthy living is about the person on their journey and how they feel.  So I'm really not bothered what happens on the weight side of the issue, for me personally it's more about the hip to waist ratio and body fat percentage going down.  If I lose a few pounds in the process, I'm not complaining but I don't want to lose muscle, as muscle is most definitely the fountain of youth.

My starting stats:

Weight - 162.2lbs

Waist - 35 1/4 inches
Hips  - 41 3/4 inches (giving a waist:hip ratio of 0.87)

Body fat percentage - 28.30%

I will be on week 8 of the challenge when it officially launches, so as I work towards the launch I will do an update of my stats every fortnight as well as blogs and vlogs in between, so you can see how I get on. It's going to be an interesting experiment and one that I hope will inspire 12 souls to embark on and let me help them show them what they can achieve.

So until the next blog, be kind to yourself always, YOU ROCK!

Krissie
x

O Brave New World...

I was going to title this blog 'When one door closes...' but to be honest, it's me who has closed the door to open a great big french window on a brave new world.  So to say when every door closes another opens would be slightly misleading in the context of this post.

Farewell desk job!

Today I have handed back the keys to my lonely office.  I have taken all my posters down, packed up my posessions in three large boxes and removed my kitchen gagetry from the corner, where they have been for the last 2 and half years.  As I cleared out the office this week, I found things that I had brought with me from the last office that I'd not looked at in all that time. Needless to say, there has been a lot of decluttering going on, and I have found it so very cathartic, almost as though I am cleansing the stress that this place has imbude upon me from my whole system.

While the job has been great in terms of money and experience within the office and the Higher Education environment, it has also been slowly sapping all the joy out of the bulk of my day.  I have to be honest, I had come to seriously dislike the person it was turning me into.  I suppose I have learned that to be happy, I do not need material things that a well paid job will bring.  I have more spring in my step now that I know I will be helping other people change their lifestyle habits with food and exercise; that hopefully some of my passion for fitness and activity will rub off on those who employ me to beast them in the gym/outdoors on a regular basis.

Here's to making it memorable :)

For years, while I was on this journey of re-self discovery, I strived to find where my happiness lay and I think that it is something all of us, at some point in our lives, will go through (not necessarily the weight loss but definitely the seeking of happiness).  I honestly thought that by losing some weight I would suddenly turn into a happy person and be completely content with my life. And for a little while it did and I was.  Once the inital 'yes I'm now a normal weight' honeymoon had worn off, I realised that I was still as miserable as sin on the inside.  No matter what I was doing, I was just desperately unhappy.  Now I had to look less on the surface and start really doing some hard work on the inside.  And that was when the lightbulb moment hit. Work was making me unhappy. Every day I would whine about things that had happened at the office or that someone had done that, while to me common sense said otherwise, they had done the exact opposite.  I realised that I was at the head of culture change in an environment that didn't necessarily want it. Now for those who know me well, you will know that change is something that doesn't frighten me in the slightest.  If it did I wouldn't have lost the amount of weight I had, and I would be still sat on the sofa indulging in 6000+ calorie meal on a Friday night.  I had to accept that while I embrace and welcome change, others view it with distrust and in some cases distain and no matter waht I did to help make the change easier to swallow, it was fought against in such a way that the anger and frustration was directed at me on a continuous basis.And that was where the unhappiness stemmed from. While I know their anger, frustration etc wasn't about me as a person it got to a point where it had become too much.

That still makes me grin like an idiot

This realisation that change was the over arching factor, lead me to look at what change I really needed to make to find my own happiness.  After a set to with a colleauge one summer and really assessing what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be in life, i realised I had to sit back and take stock.  And I think that is something everyone must do at somepoint in life.  Whether it instigates a massive life changing event or just allows us to continue on the knowldge that we are excatly where we should be is neither here nor there.  The important thing is that we are able to accertain that we are happy or not. If we are happy, more power to us, and if not then a change, on some scale, needs to happen.  For me a big change needed to happen.  I needed to find my bliss, something that would make me wake up looking forward to the day, not filled with dread and loathing. And boy have I found it.

I start officially on Monday (April 8th) when the final website goes live (only 16 months after I purchased the domain) but I'm already excited. I have 3 clients already, and a few more that are meeting me to see if I'm the trainer for them.  And while I have been offered jobs at gyms (and big gyms at that), I don't think that is the path for me.  I joke a lot about wanting KrissieKirby.com to be a global brand name.... but what if it was?  I may as well give it a shot, because what do I have to lose? Nothing really, but everything to gain. And I have never been one to live by 'what if'.

So the door on the office has closed, and here I am, hands on the push plate, ready to throw open the french doors on a brave new world.

This should be fun, hard work and long hours, but fun.

Be kind to yourself, as always

Krissie
xx

That's one off the Bucket List

Last year when OH's cousin Jim passed away at the very young age of 36, it really brought it home that life is short.  Yes it really is, if you stop and think about it for a few moments.  How quickly has 2012 gone by?  Have you noticed that as you are getting older, the time seems to move much faster?  Have you found yourself remarking that 'crumbs, 2013 came around awful quick'? That's life being short, that's life moving fast and if we're not careful there will be things we wanted to do but 'didn't find the time for'...I really dislike that excuse.  So it frustrates me when people say, oh life isn't short at all.  In the grand scheme of things, yes it is, we are here for a fleeting moment so let's make the most of it!

Live!

Sorry, getting on my soap box again, aren't I?

Where was I? Oh yes, so after Jim passed away, I decided to finally make a list of all the things I wanted to try, and to carry on adding to it.  I have started to put them on a board on my Pinterest account (feel free to have a browse around my mad pinnings if you're a Pinterest pinner).  One of the ones on my written list was rock climbing.

I have a very rational fear of falling and hitting the ground as a sloppy mess, I dislike heights for the most part as well but this is something that I know I can get over with some work, the fear of falling though I'm not so sure.  CJ and I were looking for something different to do as part of my belated birthday treat.  The downside of having a birthday so close to Christmas is that it's usually difficult to get everyone together to do something, as we're gigging or there are office parties, or a myriad of other things... oh and Christmas itself of course.  So I tend to not really bother celebrating my birthday, but this last year I decided it's worth doing something to mark the occasion, even if I have to leave it a month or so.

So we had decide we would try rock climbing, and as luck would have a coupon for a sizeable discount appeared in our inboxes from one of those coupon companies the very next day.  I rang the climbing centre and instead of £12 for a taster, it was £5 each.  Wonderful, it appears the Universe agreed that we should go and give it a try. (I love little signals like that, coincidence or not, it doesn't matter I still take it as a sign it's the right move).

Three of the walls we climbed.

Off we went to Boulders in Cardiff to have an hour and half taster session of indoor climbing.  And you know something it wasn't as bad as we anticipated.  Neither of us froze on the wall. Neither of us screamed to be taken down. And although some of the climbs were more difficult than others, we attempted them all and did the best we could. And that's something to be very proud of, by both of us for both of us. We didn't give up, we didn;t stand hands on hip looking blankly at the wall thinking 'there is no whay we can do this'.  Oh no, we took the walls on and no matter what we were going to keep giving it a go.

It's the first 'done that' on that bucket list. And why not? Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed and filled to the brim with the good stuff.  In my last entry, I talked about celebrating the little things, and this is one of those things that I can now look back on and say 'I did that, I took on a fear of mine and I proved I can do anything'.  We celebrated as only we girls know how, with a coffee anda small slice of cake for me and a panini for CJ, and talked about all the other stuff that we want to do together and with our respective OHs.

Sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zone to truly know what we are capable of, and you may surprise yourself at how strong, determined, and daring you can be. So the bucket list is filling up with the crazy, the cool, the scary and the silly and I'm looking forward to ticking more off.

Until next time, be kind to yourselves
Krissie
Xx

Mud, mud and more mud!

So we did it! We arrived a little under an hour before our heat and we registered for our first ever Spartan Sprint :D

The registration process for the event is a very well oiled machine.  With waiver forms in hand all signed and ready to just be handed in, we were given our timing chips to attach to our shoes so that we didn't have to worry about the effects of water/mud and various other substances on HRMs and the like.

Having picked up our timing chip which also acted as our bib and with our numbers inked in indelible ink on our foreheads (for the pictures apparently), we handed in our keys to the key drop and prepared to warm up. And that's when disaster almost struck! I was doing some high knees and I turned over on my ankle. The crack was as though I landed on a twig, but no that was my ankle going crunch. Luckily it wasn't a major sprain just a slight twist and with some quick stretching it seemed to be fine, and what tiny twinges of pain I had dissipated. Had there been instant swelling and bruising, or any pain when I applied body weight onto the ankle, I would have withdrawn from the race.  However, there was nothing immediately apparent, and we had another 25 mins before the start of our heat, plenty of time for me to do a self diagnostic as were and check that I was still race fit. Thankfully, all was well. So time to Spartan the f*** up and get to it.

We lined up, amongst likeminded men and women, all ready to tackle whatever the course threw at us. The master of ceremonies took as through what we faced, and for the brave amongst us who were undertaking the Super Spartan they were told they'd have to do the course twice and with a brick on the second time through, 2 tyres instead of one, and 2 sand bags on the carry instead of one. As the course was a double for the super we worked out that we had roughly a 6 to 6.5 Km course to get through.  (The Super is over 12km). With the cry of 'What is your profession?' and our obligatory 'Aroo! Aroo! Aroo!' we started over the line and we were off.

Mo Mud!

Various obstacles that we faced along the way included balance beams, wading through LOTS of river water (over 2km in water), low walls, high walls, carrying sand bags and tyres, cargo nets, spear throw, crawling through mud, and on one occasion under barbed wire, holding bricks up for a set period of time, rope ladders and all with lots of mud from the previous racers and ourselves. But they saved the most evil obstacles till last.  As we turned into the home straight, we were faced with a pit of ice under barbed wire, that we had to crawl through...and it was dyed red! As soon as we come out of the ice pit it was the rope wall, and the surface of the inclined wall is like tarpaulin, so slippery when wet, and muddy. We tried to get up it, my god did we try but alas no, so honour burpees it was. In fact on the entire course I only did 2 x 30 burpees which I was really pleased with. (The spear throw had a rule, 1 throw and if you miss you do burpees...I missed but that's fine, if you recall I'm one of those weird people who like burpees)

Updating Facebook!

Around the 4km mark my knee started to give me some problems, so I'm not out of the woods with the old IT Band syndrome just yet and no doubt my physio will give me a telling off on Wednesday ;) But damn it this was something I needed to do for me and my great gods did I enjoy it.

Caked in mud, we finished our race, removed our chips, collected our medals and made our way back to the car to clean off, obviously had to update all social networking site, put civies back on and grab some food.  A quick jolly back over to the main arena saw us bump into one of the most inspiring fitness aficionados that I have ever witnessed. Doing a double take and saying to OH 'isn't that Jessie Pavelka?' lo, it was indeed Mr Palvelka in all his chiseled glory, with that dazzling smile.  What a thoroughly lovely man, he even obliged me with a photograph. I came away starstruck, utterly starstruck.

No sparkle here, just lots of glow!

All in all, a bloody good day. I lost my sparkle, met a fitness idol, had a great day with OH and faced my fear of heights head on scaling that cargo net and high wall. I feel quite accomplished. They say on the blurb that 'You'll know at the finish line' and you now what, you do.  You know that nothing can beat you if you really give it everything you have, and even if you fail at something there will be another way around the problem. What you know at the finish line is that you CAN do it and more, that you are strong in mind, body and spirit and that this community you've found yourself in all believe that and understand it too. You know at the finish line exactly who you are.

With Jessie Pavelka

Clean and proud Spartan Chick!

So next on the agenda is a visit to my physio and to really work on getting the strength and flexibility back in my IT band, I have a routine to film in pole tomorrow with my class, then I can start training for the Zombie Evacuation run in October,  and after that in 2013 the next sprint and maybe the super, and possibly the beast ;) Well, why not eh?

As always, be kind to yourself
Much love
Krissie
xx
Officially a Spartan Chick!

Spartan Up Buster!

About a year ago a friend of mine sent me a video on Facebook, all about a series of obstacle course races that happen across the globe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4aM0fpS0IU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I watched in wonder at this madness that had people crawling through pits of mud, under barbed wire, and grinning like utter loons while doing so. What was this wondrous thing, and was it available in the UK?

Well it turns out that, yes, the Spartan Series and Tough Mudder are both in the UK. For those of you who follow this blog, you know I love crazy ways of keeping fit and what is more crazy than taking on a series of obstacle courses over varying distances in a metric tonne of mud? The Sprint is the smaller of the three main Spartan races, and is a 5km run with 15 or more obstacles. If there is an obstacle that you just can't complete then you have the option to do burpees. And this will come as a huge surprise to many but I fricking LOVE burpees. Plyometric and strength conditioning with core stability all in one fluid movement, what's not to love?

So here I am, typing on my trusty iPad, in the car enroute to my first ever Spartan Sprint. Am I nervous? A little. Am I excited? Hell yes. I'm all about embracing the fear and pushing yourself that little further.  Now to just get through the never ending stream of roadworks on the M50/M5 and we're all set ;)


For all my fellow chicks who are losing their sparkle this weekend, good on ya girls, I'll see you at the finish line :D

Will blog with pictures if I survive ;)

As always, be kind to yourself
Much love
Krissie

X

Well I’ve been a bit lax....

...in updating both blogs, sorry.  It’s all been a bit hectic for reasons that will be apparent if you head over to the sister blog of this page. And this blog is going to be rather long, sorry in advance!

So fitness, weight loss and personal development; where do I begin? Last time we spoke I had hit that Valhalla of mental states where I was finally happy in myself. Unfortunately that took a turn back to old habits about two weeks ago and I’ve kicked, screamed and clawed my way back out of the maddening abyss that is low self esteem to regain my place back in the sun.

It all came to a head on Saturday last weekend (my wedding anniversary as well, my poor OH, how he copes with all this is anyone’s guess). We had decided to take the day as a complete rest day, no gym etc.  We went shopping in my nation’s glorious capital and planned to have a slap up meal and then on to the cinema to watch The Dark Night Returns.  In TK Maxx the horrors descended with alarming pace.  I got hot and flustered, my temperature raised and my temper flared.  It’s not pretty when the red mist of self loathing descends. It’s quite scary not just for me but for my other half.  Sat in the changing cubical I had those thoughts again; the ones where I want to punch myself hard and take a knife to my fat.  Those thoughts of utter worthlessness and the voice that screams at you to ‘grow up and act your age, stop trying to be something you’re not’.  I thought those feelings and thoughts were long gone, but they reared their head in alarming fashion. And I became so scared, really very scared, then very angry.  On leaving the changing room I handed the assistant everything, looked at OH and said that I wanted to go home. So we left Cardiff and headed homeward with me sobbing my heart out.

What brought on this apparent sudden U turn in my mental state, I can pinpoint pretty accurately. The weather in the UK has been awfully drab, wet and humid which doesn’t instil smiles and happiness in the most positive of people, recent photographs of me performing haven’t been complimentary at all, and the IT Band issue has hampered my training. I’ve felt very frumpy and frustrated. Add to that my disappointment in myself with returning to old habits of secret binge eating of chocolate and crisps, and I guess it was just waiting to explode.  I’m glad it happened when it did and not 3 months down the line when I have every possibility of it spiralling out of control.

Half way home, I asked OH to turn the car into an out of town shopping complex and we had a lovely wander around, I bought myself some new trail shoes for a new goal I’m setting myself and we had our slap up meal of grilled chicken and salad (the waitress looked at us daft when asked for no potatoes or sauce) and then dessert was my small salted popcorn at the cinema whilst watching Batman (great film, go and see it if you can and if you are a DC fan like me, spot the different story threads from various graphic novels ). The red mist started to lift a little, and Pandora’s screaming tantrum lost a little of its steam.

The one thing I’ve learned on this journey is that you have to be honest if you’re going to journal about it. So that’s why I wanted to write about it here.  I think this whole blog has been so cathartic that it’s made me realise there is a light at the end of the very long tunnel, and though there are light switches along the way, sometimes there has to be a power cut to help you refocus and march to the next switch and turn the light back on again. The light isn’t fully back on yet, I know from experience that it takes a few days but there’s a flickering ember on the filament and that tells me the power is there just building up in the background so a little time and it’ll be back to full wattage.

Team Triaxis

Apart from that, everything else has been amazing!  Well apart from the ITB injury – grrrr.  We had our Race for Life (CJ and I) and we did really well considering I’ve not been able to run more than 3km without the knee giving in. We completed the 5km course in exactly 30 minutes.  So happy with that, and CJ was a godsend, being that little voice of extra motivation when my knee really started to hurt.  We raised £711.50 which I’m thrilled with, especially as OH’s cousin is going through treatment for breast cancer right at this moment. Cancer Research UK is a cause very dear to me as is, so it’s important that I keep doing these races.  One day we will beat it.

6 Races, 6 Medals.
There will be more!

So where am I currently?  Well after my episode on the weekend, I dusted myself off and started afresh almost immediately (no sauce or potatoes remember?), instead of waiting until Monday and thinking ‘Hell, I’ve blown it all anyway I may as well wait until Monday’. No sir, not me.  This time I got myself back together, and stopped the slip becoming the slide. So since then I’ve gone cold turkey on the chocolate and crisps, and to be honest today was the first day I’ve thought ‘ooh I fancy...’ but I’ve dug my heels in.  It’s just not worth it. Since Sunday I’ve been back to clean-eating; lots of vegetables, lean proteins, brown rice, fruit and nuts. Water is the order of the day, and lots of it.  And within five days I noticed my skin was much clearer, I have more energy and I'd lost the weight I had regained through my binge eating plus and extra pound for good measure.  My body fat is finally sitting at exactly 30%, only another 5% to get shot of so I’ll be in the healthy range.

I have sought physiotherapy for the injury and it was as I thought, I have IT Band Syndrome. My symptoms have been caused by something we in my pole school have affectionately termed ‘lazy arse syndrome’.  The medial gluteus has ceased to take on its correct function and a couple of the muscles in the quadriceps have taken control instead, so the leg chain is all out of kilter.  I have a weak posterior Medial Gluteus on the right hand side (for all you anatomy buffs out there). And instead of that dictating the movement of the leg chain, the body has opted for the strong muscles to take over.  The pain that this ‘cheating’ creates is unbelievable.  It’s like someone scraping a razor blade on the lateral side of the knee. Because the work is being done by the quads, the IT band has shrunk slightly and starts to rub on the outside of the knee joint, hence the pain on the top of the tibia. However, treatment is simple and it doesn’t stop you doing the vast majority of your workouts, just running becomes painful after around 3km, so no running for me for a while until the IT band resumes its correct position in the leg and I do some interesting Pilates based leg exercises to strengthen my gluteus. I just have to be patient and not try to run before I can walk (quite literally in this case).  I’ve switch the treadmill for the cross trainer but I have an appointment next week to see if I can resume short 1.5/2km runs to see how the IT band is doing.

Pole has been going from strength to strength, and that’s not just figuratively speaking.  I have conquered the cross ankle and cress knee releases after overcoming my fear of just letting go. I have mastered the Eye Opener (or Hello Boys) and Lady garden wrist seat positions, Crucifix hold is in place and I’m now inverting and did my first inverted crucifix with Dawn’s guidance.  We have also started a Choreography and Sass class and have the most fun doing routines to some cracking rock tracks.  My upper body strength is on the increase all the time.  I love pole, it’s the best fun ever.

I’ve taken on my first client with weight loss coaching. She’s a wonderful, amazing and talented woman and I’m thrilled she’s asked me to be her coach.  In many ways she’s been a great help to me to regain my focus as well.  After all I can’t be a coach to someone if I’m not leading by example?  I’m really excited about helping her fulfil her goals.  She’s so determined and positive; she’s a real breath of fresh air. 

I’ve completed the nutrition element of personal training (very happy with that) and have just received my advanced anatomy and physiology course book as well as the dates for the taught section of my Advance Training Approaches module.  Once those are complete I only have two remaining modules and I qualify as a Certified Personal Trainer.  While I’m building my client base I will start working on the three modules to progress to Advanced PT and the Level 4 module in Obesity and Diabetes. I have a plan written out and so far, apart from the hiccup in Nov 2011 where we had to pay for a new kitchen roof, all is on course for 2013 to be the year I start the Personal Training arm of the new venture in full swing.  I am beyond excited.

I've also set myself a new goal.  I've joined the Spartan Chicks and am gearing up to compete in the Spartan series of races. These are obstacle races set over varying distances.  The Sprint is over 3miles, the Super over 8 miles and the Beast over 12 miles, there is also the Super Beast which is marathon distance (26.2miles) and the Death Race, an endurance event over 48 hours and no real know distance mixing mud, obstacles, metal agility and stamina. Yep I'm going to get myself muddy in the name of fitness and fun.  Mostly because I want to do them, but secondly because why the hell not?  I'll start out slow with a few Sprints, and work my way up. And, if all goes well fitness wise, I'd like to attempt the Trifecta in 2014 and the the Super Beast and Death Race in 2015 - when I'll be celebrating hitting 40 ;)  So something to aim for.

You better believe it!

Strangely putting all that down in this blog has made me smile and appreciate that I’ve done a lot of late and I have much to look forward to.  I’ve been through a small rough patch but ultimately in the grand scheme of things everything is still very positive. The injury will improve with care, my self esteem is back in the increase and even the weather has improved slightly (for how long is anyone’s guess).  Told you this blog thing was cathartic. Here’s a little motivational poster I found on the day I had my attack of the horrors, it reminded me that sometimes we need to look back to appreciate where we are going:

Be kind to yourself, even when that voice shouts and you can’t hear anything but her.

Much love, as always,

Krissie 

xx

A New Target, and do something scary? Oh, OK then...

One day I will be able to do this :D

I've become enamoured with the idea that we should all embrace doing something that scares the bejesus out of us.  One of those scary things, for me, is showing my far from perfect body in public in less than a tshirt and jeans. So to do something that invloves having as much bare skin available as possible, in public....well *bites nails*!  I'm not talking naked, oh no but shorts and cropped top and I'm talking shorts as in Daisy Duke's for those that can remember the Dukes of Hazard. So after a very strenuous and fun pole dancing class last night, I have decided to bite the bullet and do my first solo performance in May.

I'm not very good at this stage, I hasten to add, as I'm still learning the basics, I've only been doing proper classes for 10 weeks so far. The spins I am fairly competent with, my climb is getting stronger and I can now sit on the pole with just my legs keeping me from sliding into an ungraceful heap at the foot of the stage (yes I did shout 'Look Ma, no hands' when I finally let go of the pole and just used my legs to maintain grip).  However, I have yet to master some of the extensions and I haven't even begun on the inversions. I have 8 weeks before the performance.  I should also perhaps stop shouting 'weeeeeeeeeeeee' as I fall into the Kamikazi spin :D

The routine will be done only in front of my class mates, other students at my dance school and our family and friends.  And it is for charity. But to say I'm a little apprehensive is an understatement. I know I will only be doing spins and tricks that I am capable of doing at this stage, but me being me I want to be hanging up side down by only my toes or something rediculous like that.  I've always wanted to run before I could walk, and that shows no sign of changing as I get older.  So the old adge of older and wiser ummmm no doesn't exist apparently!  I have fallen utterly in love with pole dancing. It's something I've always wanted to try.  I've never really viewed myself as a sexy person, or a graceful dancer - think more elephant from Fantasia - so to do something that can utilise the strength I do have, build on it, increase my flexibility and be a honest to goodness work out, oh and may just happen to give the illusion of being slightly sexier than a hephalump, then I'm game for it. I'm so in love with it I've bought my own pole. Hurrah!

Armed with Thunder's 'I Love You More Than Rock'n'Roll' (and with a list of 5 other rock and metal tracks that I want to start choreographing routines too), you can say that the bug really has bitten hard.  Now I just need to buy some knee pads for rehearsing so I can stop the perpetual bruising on my left knee.

But what about the new target? Well it's just under nine weeks until the performance and I have 18lbs left to lose to get to my goal weight of 150lbs. There is absolutely no reason why I cannot lose at least 8lbs of that before the performance if not a little more.  I've set my target to 10lbs loss.  I'm aiming to be 158 - 160lbs by the time I perform. And this is the start of the final push.  The end goal is in sight and I'm more determined than ever to get to it.  Everytime I get on the treadmill or lift that weight I see her, the me I know I'm meant to be, smiling at that goal line (still with Platinum discs for music and Personal Trainer of the Year award in hand).  It's a powerful image. If I lose that 10lbs by the performance then I'm in last half a stone terriroty.... I'm almost there.  I'm so damned close.  Hovering in the 75-80lb loss mark as I had for the best part of 3 months, the motivation although still there was nowhere near as strong.  It was almost a 'well, if it's going to come off it will come off when it's ready' sort of attitude.  Now I've broke out of that limbo and the weight has started to decrease again I'm looking at it with a renewed determination and I've taken back the control on that attitude. It's no longer a case of thinking it'll come off when it's ready, it's more of an it's coming off period, attitude.

Pole dancing hasn't just helped in the 'get stronger' stakes, it's given me a new found confidence with my own body.  I have stretch marks and scars from weight gain, both visable and in the old noggin' but they are my scars, I own them and I am proud of them as they have helped me become the person I am now.  They are war wounds from many battles and the war is over, I've won! I'm healthier than I have ever been.  I am happier than I have ever been and I am so passionate about this new found way of being that I want to help everyone reap the benefits of lifestyle change for the better  And if I can do that and have fun swinging from a 50mm thick pole in high heels screaming 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' as I spin..... well why the bloody hell not eh?  I'll let you know how it goes and if it's good, I may even post a video....possibly. ;)

Be kind to yourself, always, you rock!
And Much love
Krissie
x

'Normal'...there's that word again.

An interesting comment was made this week, when talking with workmates about weight loss. One said:  'You will never be able to eat normally again, or stop working out, because you'll put it all back on'.  That got me quite perplexed.

Let's look at that sentence in two parts. Firstly, 'You will never be able to eat normally again'.

No diets here, thanks!

When I said 'but I do eat normally.' The answer came back as 'But you won't be able to eat that chocolate bar after breakfast, or that chocolate bar after lunch.  What I mean is you won't be able to eat 3 or 4 chocolate bars a day, you'll be dieting for the rest of your life.' I almost choked.  Firstly, I don't diet.  I stopped dieting around 2 years ago when I realised that diets were setting myself up for failure. Secondly, three to four chocolate bars A DAY! That's excessive eating and that's what got me in to being obese in the first place, as well as being horrendously inactive.  As I mentioned to my workmate, you can have the healthiest diet on the planet, one of leafy greens, wholegrains etc but if you are eating 4000 calories a day and not moving enough you are over eating and will gain weight. Eating in excess will constitute a weight gain unless you are exercising enough to warrent the excessive calories and even with my intensive training (as I do like to train hard) there is no way I'd move enough to warrent eating four chocolate bars a day!

Part of your staple food? Really?

This got me thinking, have we become so ill educated about what is good for us that we see 3 or 4 bars of chocolate in our daily diet as the norm?  And the frightening conclusion is, yes, yes we have.  It's all part of the quick fix mentality that we see around us in the everyday.  We are now so ingrained in that 'must have/do/see/eat it now mindset, that we do not have the time to prepare and cook anything and we opt for the ready meal.  The ready meal although convienent is so packed with simple carbs that release energy quickly, caked in salt and smothered in sugar that come 3pm we suffer the mid afternoon slump.  The slump hits and we go for the most convienent source of energy which is a chocolate bar.  The old blood sugar spikes and then we get another slump as the energy quickly deminishes and we go for the next quick fix and so on and so forth.  It's a viscous circle and one that ensnares us far too easily, unfortunately.

To break that circle and to maintain a level of convenience in my lifestyle, I prepare everything well in advance.  I never have the need to venture near the vending machine for that bar of chocolate.  I chop up a bell pepper, some celery and some carrots in to battons and put them in tub in the fridge.  I buy the mini pots of Hummus to have with said batons.  I wash and chop all my fruit (except apples) and put them in tubs in the fridge as soon as I get home from the supermarket.  My eye level shelf in my fridge and cupboards are filled with healthy stuff and the sweet treats are up on the higher shelves (out of sight out of mind and all that).  It might sound like madness to some, but it's just utilising the same marketing strategy as the shops but geared towards my healthy lifestyle.  All the stuff I'm putting at eye level is the stuff that isn't going to have me craving sugar again in 2 hours time.   I'm making my healthy stuff convenient.  It takes me seconds in the morning to weight out a portion of mixed berries and some melon to take to work for snacks if the slump hits. And yes I still eat chocolate.  Only I'll take a square or two out of the fridge and not the whole bar!  It's really all about control. Who has it, you or your food?

Now let's take the second part of the sentence; 'You will never be able to [...] stop working out'.  Originally when I started to workout I didn't do it to lose weight.  If you've read my fat story you might remember that I joined the gym because I have an addictive streak in my system and to stop me going back to cigarrettes I swapped my nicotein addiction for a healther alternative, getting a sweat on in an aerobics class.  And I learned quite quickly that working out gives me the best feeling in the world ever.  It's the one thing that comes closest to the feeling I get when I've bounced about on a stage for 40 mins singing.  (Singing is a great workout if you're in a band, get moving on that stage - it's entertaining for the folks watching and you can burn almost 700 cals in an hour! But I digress).

And I really do LOVE it!

I workout to feel good, not just to look good (that's just an added benefit).  If the morning has been particularly irksome in the office, I trudge down the steep hill my office resides on to my gym.  I run for 15 mins and do some resistance training.  I stretch for at least 7-10 minutes, stretching is SO important.  40 - 45 mins later I'm in the shower, but my headspace is cleared of whatever it was that was frustrating me earlier.  I LOVE working out, it is a joy in my life that I have rediscovered and I'm not going to give it up anytime soon.  Working out for me is not just a means to an end, it's a huge part of who I now am and is part of my normal routine.

You see, my mindset has changed so much from what it was in my teens and 20s.  I may be on a weight loss programme of my own design but I am NOT dieting.  I wouldn't restrict myself so grossly.  Why make this jounrey miserable?  I've have my headspace to sort out and that' was going to be hard enough as it was, why make it harder through choice?  No, no. No restricting anything.  If I want it I'll have it as long as I've earned it.

With working out, why would I workout if it was a chore?  What's the point in exercising in a gym if it makes you miserable. Getting exercise should be fun, so find fun ways to do it.  I can't wait for the summer when I can don my rollerskates and get down the beachfront skating up and down the promanade.  Heck I even have  retro 70s space hopper in the house and when I have a moment of something perplexing me, I jump on and hop around the house thinking the question through. Or I get the vaccum cleaner out and do some housework.  Anything that has you off the sofa and moving is a good thing.

So in answer to my workmate, what I eat and my exercise regime is normal. It's normal for me and normal is such a subjective word.  If normal meant that we all did the same thing, would;t this world be ever so boring?

Anyhow, enough of my rambling on today.  Time to cook dinner and while Mr K is out with the boys tonight, it'll be me, my weights and a workout DVD ;)

As always, be kind to yourself.

Much love
Krissie
x