Challenge Update - week 5

So it’s been 5 weeks since I started my personal take on my own challenge and up until week 4 I was going great guns.  Then the dreaded stomach flu bug that has been doing the rounds hit. I spent three days curled up on the sofa in serious pain eating porridge and toast as staples to try and keep my energy levels up.

I can honestly say I have never felt stomach pain quite like that before.  It was quite horrendous.  What was upsetting was it was the run up to my best friends’ wedding day and the last thing I wanted was to be an ill bridesmaid.  Thankfully, the pains etc had eased by the big day and Clare and Giles’ day was simply perfect. I have to admit I couldn’t look at Clare while Glyn and I performed the song for her and Giles' first dance, as I could feel myself getting teary.  It was a pleasure, honour and joy to perform that for them and I’m so proud of them both. Enough gushing, haha!

The downside to the three days on not eating properly and no exercise was that I had to drop out of the Spartan Super race that I have been so looking forward to, and kiss goodbye to my Trifecta hopes for this year. But that means I have more time to work harder, be faster and compete properly next year. Something I have learned over the years, is that there is no end to goals, even when they are initially achieved; the posts just move. While I might not have gained the Trifecta this year, I am still going to be running the Beast in November and I have the Nottingham Half Marathon to look forward to this weekend.

On the challenge side, I haven’t measured or checked my Body Fat and will do that on Monday next week, the start of week 6.  What has happened though is that I have re-discovered my productivity streak.  I am suddenly waking up at 6:30/7am and hitting the ground running, the background stuff for the challenge is in place and I have a number of people on board already. I’m very excited to get this challenge up and running but also nervous at the same time.

I have discovered that I actually quite like the ‘fear’ feeling that comes with starting new projects.  Facing fear is one of the most important things we can do. Fear, after all, is a natural emotion when we do something new but it is also momentary; regret lasts forever.  Sometimes just the decision to try something new is enough to instil fear, and then attacking that new project shows us what we are capable of. If we can apply that to the small things, then the bigger things start to not look so big at all.

So this weekend is my Half Marathon challenge….I’m so under prepared for it but heck, the aim is just to finish it in whatever time it takes. And then Monday the challenge kicks off, as do my new classes at a local community centre.  So it’s all go. I’m looking forward to the next 12 weeks helping to motivate others online, and to help them achieve their goal to start and implement a new healthy lifestyle.   

Until then be kind to yourself, always.

Krissie

x

All progress, no matter how small, is progress

So I thought I would post an update on how I'm doing with the challenge while I continue to write the information/routines/etc for the challenge proper as it has become known in my workings.

In my last post I said this was was going to be an interesting time for me personally, due to how manic it's going to get while I get the challenge up underway as well as go through it myself, and September has proven to be a bitch of a month already.

While I have yet to film any of the workouts, I have done the bare bones of the routines, and am fine tuning them ready to film them - plus I have the arduous task (not really but I like that word) of listening to reams of rock and metal to use as the background music to get the people who will be

undertaking the challenge pumped.  I really hope the music I'm picking will work for them as much as it works for me.

The end of the first week of my personal challenge saw me attend my hobby weekend of live action roleplay and usually I partake in far too much alcohol, but this year I was very well behaved on that front.  Also due to not being a staff member this year, I no longer have access to a kitchen so was forced to improvise as best as possible while still having to venture to the burger van in the evenings for dinner. Not ideal but when that is the only food vendor on site you have no other choice really.
The plus side of the hobby, is the amount of running around that is undertaken when in game. It can be none stop walking from game start at 10am to finish at 2am. I was thrilled to do a number of hill sprints and not have any niggles from the old IT Band.  It feels wonderful to be back to full strength after a year and half.

Last weekend also saw the start of my Spartan season, with the Cambridge Sprint.  I did full review of the race for those wonderful folk over at Mudstacle.  Their site is well worth checking out if you fancy doing obstacle course racing/mud runs. OCRs genuinely put the fear of the gods into me.  I have no idea what's coming up in the way of obstacles, I just know I'll be tested.  I also know that the terrain can be damned tricky to run on and I'm always wary of turning over on my ankle. The race was good fun, it always is, even when I arrive with a knot in the pit of my stomach and all rationale telling me to get in the car and just go home. But if I listened to that voice, I wouldn't be doing the job I do now... so!

The one thing I do need to invest in somehow is a rope to climb, but my ceilings are low so it wouldn't work in the house gym.  No I need a rope climb somewhere where it's going to challenge, so I may have to chat to the boys at the gym I attend.  This weekend the band has a gig in County Durham, and the morning after we are racing in Yorkshire. So another busy weekend ahead. And while I am off on the road I thought I would do an update with where I am at the 'almost' 3 week mark.

So the 'almost' 3 week stats:

• Waist 34 1/4 inches (loss of 1 inch)
• Hips 40 inches (loss of 1 3/4 inches)
  
  • Ratio: 0.85 (down from 0.87)
• Weight 159.4lbs (loss of almost 3lbs)

I'm not going to test my body fat until week 8 as I require the help of one of my fellow PTs to do the caliper measurements for me. But all in all for just under 3 weeks that's not a bad at all.  I'm very chuffed with that. As I stated before, for me this challenge isn't about weight loss it's about fat loss and building my strength.  So it's all going in the right direction, which gives me great hope for how my challengers are going to do if they work at it.  And that, I suppose is the crux, even though I've had a weekend where my options weren't the best they could have been I've still maintained the programme I set myself for the most part, and the poof is in the results.

I will probably do a week six update, although I may just post my stats a week Monday when I return from Scotland to see how I'm continuing.

Until then, if you want more information about the challenge then please see the KrissieKirby.com blog and sign up to be the first to know when registration opens.


As always be kind to yourself,
Krissie
xx

First of 4 mudpits, after a lovely barbed wire crawl!

Screw you, fire! \m/

Bring it, boys! Was in fact what I said here, for real!

 A small selection of pictures from the race on the weekend, with thanks to Epic Action Imagery.

The dreaded BEFORE pictures!

It's always the same.  I take lots of pictures of my progress and rarely put them up.  Yet for the challenge that will be launching at the end of September, I am going to be asking my awesome participants to take a series of before pictures so that when they finish the challenge they have a tangible view of how they have done, as well as a set of measurements etc.

So while I am undergoing the testing and planning phase of this challenge, before I launch it on 12 excited people, here are my 'before' pictures.  In general I am pleased with where I am, but there is always room for improvement and I do feel that I could do with getting rid of some of the fat that I have around my body.  I want to feel tighter and less floppy (as I told you before it is a highly technical term that...floppy).  Also by being very public about my own trial of the challenge, I am forced to practice what I preach, as all of us personal trainers should to be quite frank. Why on earth would I have you pay me to offer something I wouldn't do myself? Just doesn't make sense.  Also this is most definitely about what the individual wants/feels for themselves, so before any comments of 'but you look great' come through - thank you I feel great, I just want to feel even better and that's no bad thing :)

What will be fascinating, on a personal level, is that during this 12 weeks, I have a hobby weekend, 3 Spartan Sprints, a Spartan super, a half Marathon, my best friend's wedding, and a whole host of gigging on top of working with clients, teaching bootcamps etc and all the daily paperwork that goes with owning your own business. So juggling this challenge and all that as well as getting all the background for the challenge set up is going to make for a VERY interesting and exceptionally busy time. In short of I can do it.... remember, NO EXCUSES! ;)

So here goes, these were taken on August 14th and I shall take the final pictures on Sunday 3rd of November.

If you are interested in learning more about the 12 week Challenge which will be starting on Monday September 30th 2013, and you'd like to register your interest, then please visit the Official KrissieKirby.com Blog

Until the next time, be kind to yourself always

Krissie
x

Happy 2nd Birthday blog

Wow hasn't the time flown?  Two whole years. This little corner of the web that I started two years ago has grown fairly consistently, so thank you to everyone who has shared my ramblings, the articles and all the general information that spews forth from this adled brain.  I love reading your comments and hope that some of the information I share is of use.

What started as a project to keep myself accountable to my continuation of a better me (in health and in character) has grown into something much more than that.  It's something I am fiercely proud of and something that continues to bring me great joy on a weekly basis.  I say it everytime and mean it with earnest, that I will maintain this blog with more regularity, but alas time has gotten the better of my yet again.  Hopefully with the launch of the full new venture on April 8th (a date for the diary) I will be posting far more regularly and incorporating a new look to these pages.

I will explain more about the new venture when certain things are in place (I know, I'm such a tease). But for now I want to look back at the last couple of months and share what's been going on.  It's been a tad on the busy side.

Since the launch of the album the band hasn't really stopped.  Even in our down time, we managed to maintain momentum with the album and do as much promotional work as we could.  We had a feature in Metal Hammer, had lots of airplay of the new tracks and announced the 2013 leg of the Rage and Retribution tour, Oh and we also got announced for some festivals and as support to Queensryche (I'm super chuffed with that one as I grew up headbanging to those guys).

Over Christmas, Mr K and I proved you could workout anywhere as we were visiting my parent's (who have retired to Spain), getting some much needed vitamin D courtesy of that giant nuclear explosion called the Sun, and using the local park to do all sorts of crazy workouts. My parents are very lucky, in that that the park right next door to their house has football pitches, tennis courts, bleachers, basketball courts and more, making it a fitness buff's dream come true to get a good workout in on a regular basis.  The Spartan WODs came in handy for me to get to grips with training in different environments (which will come in very useful when I take that module next month to finish off my PT training).  I passed my Level 3 Advanced Training Approches and Anatomy and Physiology modules, and also my Beginner Pole Instructor qualification and I'm coming up to my assessment for my Exercise to Music, and the last two modules for the Level 3. So all is on course to have completed all the main qualifications by the end of March.  I must admit to being utterly in love with training others to find their soul mate workouts, to find somehing that inspires them to be healthy.  It's quite a fulfilling job.

I have purchased a weights bench and some spinlock vinyl, sand-filled weights, for my home gym, which have already proved invaluable.  So when I've been working late and get home I can get a fairly heavy lifting session in without having to go to the gym.  There are absolutely no excuses for me not to workout anymore.  I have so much home equipment now, that to not workout is not an option unless it's a rest day (and everyone MUST take rest days or you are going to injure yourself), or when my parents are visiting as they take over the basement. For those days I can just use my local gym.   I am really looking forward to ramping up my client base and being able to offer so many different training methods to get the best possible results.  It's something that I think every Personal Trainer should be able to do, offer a wide variety of training methods as one size doesn't fit all and if I can make working out as fun as possible then my clients are going to see quicker results.

Figured it out finally!

As for the weight loss, well, I'm not worried about it anymore. I do weight myself periodically but more than anything it's what I'm eating that I've noticed has the biggest effect on how I feel.  If I have chips from the chippy, I generally feel sluggish for the rest of the evening.  If I eat a lot of chocolate (I do have some as I quite enjoy it still but nowhere near the amount I was having and not everyday either), the sugar crash is so horrendous that it's just not worth me having more than a few grams.  My eating is very clean these days.  At the start of January I invested in the KiFit bodybugg to monitor my everyday energy expenditure and sleeping patterns. I have discovered that even though I may be lying down for 7-8 hours a night, I'm actually only getting between 3 -4 hours sleep, and even then it's sporadic and not all in one consistent block.  At most I get a full hour unbroken sleep.  It is little wonder that I wake up feeling dreadful.  And that is also impacting on my physical wellbeing, as I'm not getting sufficient rest.  So to ensure that I am getting more beneficial sleep, I am trying not to use my phone or iPad before bed, and I'm using the time to do my reading and research the old fashioned way, via a good book.  Something else that the bodybugg pointed out was that I wasn't eating enough.  Yes really!  I am far more active than I thought, which is a very good thing of course, but as I'd not being fuelling myself sufficiently then my body had reacted adversely. Now I'm more mindful of how I can pad out my meals and am far more mindful of my snacks and the body fat has decreased, and my energy levels are through the roof.  So it's all going in the right direction.

Something that struck me last night, as I got ready to go to a community gala evening, is how seriously comfortable in my own skin I have become.  Don't misunderstand me, it's been a tough old journey and I still have those days where I think 'urgh', but now it doesn't matter what people think of me or how they view me.  I am happy with me, and sure there are little things I think could be improved but isn't that the measure of success?  I've stopped comparing myself to others, because it doesn't matter, it really doesn't.  I'm me, and no one else is.  The only person I need to compare myself to was the person I was yesterday and even then it's not about how I look, it's about how I act. I've completed what I initially set out to do and that was to get healthy and to lose weight.  My goals are vastly different now.  I still want to be the best me that I can be, of course, and increase my own strength to show to myself what my body can achieve but I'm more concerned with how I am as a person and how I treat those around me.

We make mud look damned good!

So things that are coming up in 2013! Mr K and I have got our Season Passes for the Spartan Race UK this year.  That will be kicking off in August and hopefully we will be completing the Trifecta in November finishing with the Beast (a half marathon with so many obstacles it's not funny, but I love it!).  We hope to do at least 2 of the Zombie Evacuation runs, as they were great fun last year.  There may even be a Tough Mudder in there somewhere if we have the time.  I have some ideas for projects that I will start once the new venture has launched (April 8th remember), and I will be starting to teach one to one pole lessons from home for a while as well to build that up, as well as improve my own training and technique when it comes to pole. It's all go presently, and to top it all off we're back on tour with the band which makes me even happier.  Always the performer ;).  I'm so busy I don't sit still for more than a few seconds, unless I'm writing a blog of course.  And you know I wouldn't have it any other way, I am loving life right now and long may it continue. 

htpp://www.krissiekirby.com

new content coming soon

Be kind to yourself, always

Much Love

Krissie

x

Celebrate the little things...

Happy New Year. I hope you all had a wonderful festive season?

So this entry started as a Facebook update, but I soon realised I had more to say than a status update will allow, as usual, so here is a quick blog.

I had a great session in the gym last night.  After all the trouble with my IT band irritation and all the recovery I've done for that, then hyper extending my hamstring before Christmas, I was very worried that I would have lost a lot more strength than I have.  As a few of you may have read, when I developed IT band irritation and it persisted, I was told to rest by my physio and to cease with heavy lifting in favour of body weight exercises in what is known as active recovery. Knowing very well that all I would be able to do is maintain cardio fitness by swimming and easing back into running, I took his advice and knew that it would be better to return with a lower weight and rebuild my strength back up as I would have lost quite a bit of strength over the 9 weeks of recovery that I eventually took.

The deadlift

So, walking into the gym last night night, I approached the  Smith Machine with the intention of working out my 1 rep max for all my free weight exercises (for those of you who are unsure what that it, it is the maximum amount of weight you can lift in one repetition, with good form, but know that you can't lift that same weight for a second time without sacrificing form).  I would have preferred a free bar that you can add plates too, but my gym doesn't have one, only pre weighted barbells that stop at 40kg which are brilliant for when I do my sets. Working out my 1RM is important.  It helps me gage where I am in my strength but also allows me to set my weight correctly for the style of resistance system that I use on a given day (there are many styles in setting your sets believe it or not). Imagine my delight that, even though I have dropped all my heavy lifting down to almost half of where it was when I took time off to recover, I was still able to dead lift more than my own body weight.  I thought I was dead lifting my actual body weight, when I tweeted my delight last night, but actually looking at my weight chart this morning (I'm doing a body analysis thing which I'll explain in my next blog), I am dead lifting over my body weight and weight less than I though (cue huge grin). I am also back to almost my heaviest in the back squat.  To say I'm thrilled is an understatement.  I admit I high fived the OH and then did a very girly jump and dance about the gym, much to the amusement of everyone else.

A very girly dance

For you numbers people:  I weigh 74.8kg and I lifted 77.5kg in plates on the bar (not including the bar weight as it's not marked so I have no idea how much that weighs, so I'll just go solely on plates until I move to a gym with a 10 or 15kg free bar).  I am beyond delighted.  I honestly thought I would have lost far more strength than I have. It also means that I can now increase my weight correctly for the sets I want to do, and ensure I'm not cheating myself in going too light.  I love lifting heavy, it gives me a real sense of accomplishment and makes me very aware of how my body functions through the movements and how strong the human body is.  Now I am fully armed, once again, with all the details to make my workouts as effective as possible.

Stop being a slave to the scale.
It's a guide, that's all.

It's reminded me that no matter what life throws at us we are always much stronger than we realise, body and mind, and that sometimes we need to just go all out to remind ourselves exactly how strong, focused and determined we can be. Little achievements and successes should always be celebrated, they make everything else shine and put all the nonsense we subject ourselves and are subjected to, each day, into perspective.  In the weight loss world we call a success like that an NSV (non scale victory) and I think these are the more important victories.  The scale is a guide and should only be looked on as a guide, it is a number, it is not lord and master.  Or clothes are also a guide, and give us a better understanding of where we are than a number. And our achievements in any movement should be cause for a celebration of sorts. For Example: can you reach your hands further to your toes? Can you finally touch your toes, where as you couldn't 6 months ago? That's success, and a guide of improvement of some kind.  And they should be celebrated because when you have that day when that voice says something negative, or self defeating, you can say 'maybe but I can touch my toes and I couldn't do that last year.' It's a positive for your attitude arsenal. Use it, own it, celebrate it and throw it back in that voices' mug when it rears it's ugly head.

Look at what you've achieved.
Celebrate it.

These little things change your perspective from one of self defeat to one of self acknowledgement in how far you've come.  There are times we need to look behind to move forward. But don't look at them with negativity, those past things, look at them with a sense of achievement and celebrate that achievement no matter how small.  My celebration last night was to jump around the gym like an idiot with a great big grin on my face.  Yes the boys in the lifting area looked at me daft, so what?

So celebrate all your little achievements, no matter how small. They are the very things that make you remember why you are doing it in the first place.  And  if you're in the gym ask one of the trainers about working out your 1RM, ask them about lifting and techniques and they will be more than happy to chat to you about it, they may even offer you a free taster session if you are lucky.

As always, be kind to yourself

Much love
Krissie
xx

A work still in progress....

A few weeks ago my dear friend and pole instructor posted on my Facebook wall that it was about time I posted some before and after pictures of my weight loss journey. I made the excuse that I needed to scan some photos on to the computer first. Truth is, I was still fat when digital cameras become the norm and, though I tried to always be the one behind the camera, there were pictures of me in that before phase lurking on my computer and various social sites.

No matter how hard I have tried to ignore her, she's always been there, lurking, waiting, a phantom of my past scratching away in the background, and I was desperately ashamed of her. I wanted her to disappear, to vanish into the digital ether, never to return and show me what I had done to myself.

I guess I just wasn't quite ready to look at that before picture and say 'I'm sorry' to myself for being that unhappy and for letting it all get so out of control. I'm not sure what I was running away from at the time, and at the time it must have been very painful and important. I suppose part of it was losing my Grandfather to leukaemia but this downward spiral had started way before Grampa became ill.  No this started before then, but now, over six years since the before picture was taken I'm hard pressed to recall what was making me so miserable that I had pretty much given up on myself. The only good constant at the time was (and thankfully still is) my solid marriage to possibly then most understanding person I have ever met, my beloved hubby. Everything else, well it's a bit of a blur and all a bit hazy.

However, yesterday I sat with my finger hovering over the post button on Facebook with the comparison before and after picture, shaking at the prospect of allowing the social network world see how I used to be, who I used to be, the mess I used to be. And here I sat, scared of the judgements that would be dished out.

I should, and do know better. There never was any question of people being judgemental. In fact, quite the opposite. The comments I received were amazing and I am sincerely grateful to everyone who posted.  As my American cousins would say, I was feeling the love. And then it struck me. I needed to say sorry to myself, for putting my 21-30 year old self through all that unhealthy behaviour.  I know I've often talked about not listening to that voice when she rears her head but have I actually, properly said sorry to myself? Not until today, I hadn't and I meant it. I sat here, looking at the 30 year old me in that before picture, struggling to fit her hands in her jeans pocket and said how sorry I am that I screwed our 20s up. How sorry I am that I didn't look after us, and that we have come out the other side smiling, happier and far healthier.  And Pandora and I have had a good sob. Yes she will have her moments when she creeps up with her self doubt and snide remarks at how rough I might look after a gig night, but she's/we/I am only human.

So here it is, the before and after picture.  The before on the left taken in Boscastle in April 2006, and the after (although I still have another stone I want shot of) picture taken in June 2012. There is still work to be done, inside as well as out, but everything is on the upward spiral, and life is good.

Be kind to yourselves, always

much love

Krissie

Xx

Knee Rehab... it's going to take time!

Apologies in being remiss in updating this blog over the last two months.  It's been a busy ole time on the music side of things with the release of the album and the first dates of the tour that I've not had a moment to stop and post anything.  I must do better ;)  However, when logging in today I found I had a post fully written ready to go that I had completely forgotten about regarding my knee and the rehab that I was under taking to get myself fit again.

Rest? Really?

So come back in time with me now, to Sept 9th, the Spartan Race had finished and I was in agony with my knee. So much so that I started to put in some serious research and time into how best to cope with IT Band syndrome and how to heal myself. In the end I consulted my physiotherapist as, to be frank, he's the person who is going to know best.  His advice, REST, acupuncture, REST, massage, REST, specific exercises and, oh yes, REST.

Me to a tee!

For those who know me well, you'll appreciate that me being told to take it easy and get some proper rest is like telling the sun to stop rising, it's just not going to happen. So to hear my physio say, 'you have no choice, it's rest, massage, physiotherapy and acupunture, or you seriously pose a risk of never being able to run more than 4km again, ever', was utterly heartbreaking to hear. Devastation set in and my entire mood took a downward turn.

I live for exercise. It regulates my hormones like nothing else, it staves off the red mist that descends (far less frequently than it used to), it stops me reaching for the snack jar because it keeps me in a happy, positive frame of mind, it actually surpresses my cravings for sweet things (which is great), and it generally makes me feel good.  Everything in my day is made much more positive and joyous by the inclusion of exercise. Plus I love it. I enjoy getting all sweaty after a good cardio session. I love lifting weight and seeing if I can push myself harder.  I love doing plyometrics and seeing how far I can really take my anerobic threshold. I just plain, flat out, LOVE to exercise.

But that week and the week after, I spent much of it in a low funk. I even cried. I'm woman enough to admit it. I cried like a baby, at the prospect of not being able to compete in the Zombie Run that was coming up at the end of October.  I cried at the thought that my new found love for mud and obstacle course racing would be over while still in its infancy.  I cried at the thought that it might put the block on my dream to become a top class personal trainer in the UK.  I cried, a lot.

BUT, after my first session of acupuncture, my knee seemed to feel, well, normal.  Now I know after one course of treatment that it isn't going to be cured (and there is a distinct possibility that this IT band irritation will never be wholly cured), but my god what an amazing difference.  Seeing these weird little needles sticking out of your leg is a little..hmm..odd. And feeling them being twisted or stimulated every 5 minutes, again just plain odd. But my physio was right on two counts, 1) I slept like a baby the night of the treatment and 2) the pain comes back excruciatingly but only for a few hours and then you feel like you could do a marathon.

However, I was a good girl and I took his advice. No running at all for 4 weeks, which was hard, but eventually I didn't run for 7 weeks.  I was not allowed to do any weight bearing exercises other than body weight and no sqauts or lunges were allowed in the 4 weeks rest period.  Anything to decrease the repetative strain, as essentially that's what it is. OK so that meant TurboFire was out as well, likewise Insanity. So only the upper body portions of P90X? Yep that was good.  So what else could I do to maintain exercising and fat loss, without being tempted to get on the treadmill and squat like my life depends on it with a 30kg barbell?  Well, said my physio, get in the pool and swim! So back to swimming I went.  I haven't been swimming since I did a severe sprain of my ankle back in 2007.  So I sucked up my pride and  reinstated my membership at my old gym.  This serves two purposes anyway, as once I had the all clear I was able return to my old pump, combat and attack classes that I love so much and I have missed them.  And also pole dancing was still allowed (Get In). Add to that pilates to continue to strengthen my glutes, frequent sports massages, foam rollering and more acupuncture, and the path was well set for a full recovery. *crosses everything and prays to whoever is listening*.

So having had 5 courses of acupuncture, regular massages, lots of foam rollering, and no niggles when I eventually made a combat and some pump classes, I decided that I would now test the knee with a 5km cross country obstacle course race being chased by zombies....because that's what you do to test if you've recovered of course.  But more about the Zombie race in the next blog.  Thankfully the knee, although it did irritate and the searing heat of the IT band inflamation started at about the 4km mark again, the recovery period afterwards was far quicker.  Straight on with the ice patch after the race, knee elevated for the rest of the night at home and the next day no pain when decsending the stairs.  After the Spartan Race it took almost a week for things to go back to normal, now it's taking less than a day.  This is serious progress.

Last night was the real tester.  I hit the gym for the first time in now almost 9 weeks (I ended up with a very bad cold after the Zombie run so thought it best not to train especially with gigs the following weekend - play it safe).  I decided to go straight back into my old routine (but adjusted my weights down as I've lost some of my strength), just to see how I'm doing in the recovery stakes and thankfully I ran for my full 10 minute cardio blast on the treadmil (doing just over a mile) without a twinge.  I did some weighted squats, lunges and single leg deadlifts and still no twinges. So all in all, the rest did me good.  There is still some way to go as I'd like to do the Super Spartan next year and if my knee allows the Beast as well so that I qualify for my Trifecta. But we shall see, something this injury has taught me is that if I want it badly enough then I have to be patient and let my body heal properly.  So for the interim I'm sticking to the 5k races, but it feels SO good to be active again. It's been a hard lesson to learn.

Anyhoo, until the next entry! 

Be kind to yourselves,
Much love
Krissie
xxx

Well I’ve been a bit lax....

...in updating both blogs, sorry.  It’s all been a bit hectic for reasons that will be apparent if you head over to the sister blog of this page. And this blog is going to be rather long, sorry in advance!

So fitness, weight loss and personal development; where do I begin? Last time we spoke I had hit that Valhalla of mental states where I was finally happy in myself. Unfortunately that took a turn back to old habits about two weeks ago and I’ve kicked, screamed and clawed my way back out of the maddening abyss that is low self esteem to regain my place back in the sun.

It all came to a head on Saturday last weekend (my wedding anniversary as well, my poor OH, how he copes with all this is anyone’s guess). We had decided to take the day as a complete rest day, no gym etc.  We went shopping in my nation’s glorious capital and planned to have a slap up meal and then on to the cinema to watch The Dark Night Returns.  In TK Maxx the horrors descended with alarming pace.  I got hot and flustered, my temperature raised and my temper flared.  It’s not pretty when the red mist of self loathing descends. It’s quite scary not just for me but for my other half.  Sat in the changing cubical I had those thoughts again; the ones where I want to punch myself hard and take a knife to my fat.  Those thoughts of utter worthlessness and the voice that screams at you to ‘grow up and act your age, stop trying to be something you’re not’.  I thought those feelings and thoughts were long gone, but they reared their head in alarming fashion. And I became so scared, really very scared, then very angry.  On leaving the changing room I handed the assistant everything, looked at OH and said that I wanted to go home. So we left Cardiff and headed homeward with me sobbing my heart out.

What brought on this apparent sudden U turn in my mental state, I can pinpoint pretty accurately. The weather in the UK has been awfully drab, wet and humid which doesn’t instil smiles and happiness in the most positive of people, recent photographs of me performing haven’t been complimentary at all, and the IT Band issue has hampered my training. I’ve felt very frumpy and frustrated. Add to that my disappointment in myself with returning to old habits of secret binge eating of chocolate and crisps, and I guess it was just waiting to explode.  I’m glad it happened when it did and not 3 months down the line when I have every possibility of it spiralling out of control.

Half way home, I asked OH to turn the car into an out of town shopping complex and we had a lovely wander around, I bought myself some new trail shoes for a new goal I’m setting myself and we had our slap up meal of grilled chicken and salad (the waitress looked at us daft when asked for no potatoes or sauce) and then dessert was my small salted popcorn at the cinema whilst watching Batman (great film, go and see it if you can and if you are a DC fan like me, spot the different story threads from various graphic novels ). The red mist started to lift a little, and Pandora’s screaming tantrum lost a little of its steam.

The one thing I’ve learned on this journey is that you have to be honest if you’re going to journal about it. So that’s why I wanted to write about it here.  I think this whole blog has been so cathartic that it’s made me realise there is a light at the end of the very long tunnel, and though there are light switches along the way, sometimes there has to be a power cut to help you refocus and march to the next switch and turn the light back on again. The light isn’t fully back on yet, I know from experience that it takes a few days but there’s a flickering ember on the filament and that tells me the power is there just building up in the background so a little time and it’ll be back to full wattage.

Team Triaxis

Apart from that, everything else has been amazing!  Well apart from the ITB injury – grrrr.  We had our Race for Life (CJ and I) and we did really well considering I’ve not been able to run more than 3km without the knee giving in. We completed the 5km course in exactly 30 minutes.  So happy with that, and CJ was a godsend, being that little voice of extra motivation when my knee really started to hurt.  We raised £711.50 which I’m thrilled with, especially as OH’s cousin is going through treatment for breast cancer right at this moment. Cancer Research UK is a cause very dear to me as is, so it’s important that I keep doing these races.  One day we will beat it.

6 Races, 6 Medals.
There will be more!

So where am I currently?  Well after my episode on the weekend, I dusted myself off and started afresh almost immediately (no sauce or potatoes remember?), instead of waiting until Monday and thinking ‘Hell, I’ve blown it all anyway I may as well wait until Monday’. No sir, not me.  This time I got myself back together, and stopped the slip becoming the slide. So since then I’ve gone cold turkey on the chocolate and crisps, and to be honest today was the first day I’ve thought ‘ooh I fancy...’ but I’ve dug my heels in.  It’s just not worth it. Since Sunday I’ve been back to clean-eating; lots of vegetables, lean proteins, brown rice, fruit and nuts. Water is the order of the day, and lots of it.  And within five days I noticed my skin was much clearer, I have more energy and I'd lost the weight I had regained through my binge eating plus and extra pound for good measure.  My body fat is finally sitting at exactly 30%, only another 5% to get shot of so I’ll be in the healthy range.

I have sought physiotherapy for the injury and it was as I thought, I have IT Band Syndrome. My symptoms have been caused by something we in my pole school have affectionately termed ‘lazy arse syndrome’.  The medial gluteus has ceased to take on its correct function and a couple of the muscles in the quadriceps have taken control instead, so the leg chain is all out of kilter.  I have a weak posterior Medial Gluteus on the right hand side (for all you anatomy buffs out there). And instead of that dictating the movement of the leg chain, the body has opted for the strong muscles to take over.  The pain that this ‘cheating’ creates is unbelievable.  It’s like someone scraping a razor blade on the lateral side of the knee. Because the work is being done by the quads, the IT band has shrunk slightly and starts to rub on the outside of the knee joint, hence the pain on the top of the tibia. However, treatment is simple and it doesn’t stop you doing the vast majority of your workouts, just running becomes painful after around 3km, so no running for me for a while until the IT band resumes its correct position in the leg and I do some interesting Pilates based leg exercises to strengthen my gluteus. I just have to be patient and not try to run before I can walk (quite literally in this case).  I’ve switch the treadmill for the cross trainer but I have an appointment next week to see if I can resume short 1.5/2km runs to see how the IT band is doing.

Pole has been going from strength to strength, and that’s not just figuratively speaking.  I have conquered the cross ankle and cress knee releases after overcoming my fear of just letting go. I have mastered the Eye Opener (or Hello Boys) and Lady garden wrist seat positions, Crucifix hold is in place and I’m now inverting and did my first inverted crucifix with Dawn’s guidance.  We have also started a Choreography and Sass class and have the most fun doing routines to some cracking rock tracks.  My upper body strength is on the increase all the time.  I love pole, it’s the best fun ever.

I’ve taken on my first client with weight loss coaching. She’s a wonderful, amazing and talented woman and I’m thrilled she’s asked me to be her coach.  In many ways she’s been a great help to me to regain my focus as well.  After all I can’t be a coach to someone if I’m not leading by example?  I’m really excited about helping her fulfil her goals.  She’s so determined and positive; she’s a real breath of fresh air. 

I’ve completed the nutrition element of personal training (very happy with that) and have just received my advanced anatomy and physiology course book as well as the dates for the taught section of my Advance Training Approaches module.  Once those are complete I only have two remaining modules and I qualify as a Certified Personal Trainer.  While I’m building my client base I will start working on the three modules to progress to Advanced PT and the Level 4 module in Obesity and Diabetes. I have a plan written out and so far, apart from the hiccup in Nov 2011 where we had to pay for a new kitchen roof, all is on course for 2013 to be the year I start the Personal Training arm of the new venture in full swing.  I am beyond excited.

I've also set myself a new goal.  I've joined the Spartan Chicks and am gearing up to compete in the Spartan series of races. These are obstacle races set over varying distances.  The Sprint is over 3miles, the Super over 8 miles and the Beast over 12 miles, there is also the Super Beast which is marathon distance (26.2miles) and the Death Race, an endurance event over 48 hours and no real know distance mixing mud, obstacles, metal agility and stamina. Yep I'm going to get myself muddy in the name of fitness and fun.  Mostly because I want to do them, but secondly because why the hell not?  I'll start out slow with a few Sprints, and work my way up. And, if all goes well fitness wise, I'd like to attempt the Trifecta in 2014 and the the Super Beast and Death Race in 2015 - when I'll be celebrating hitting 40 ;)  So something to aim for.

You better believe it!

Strangely putting all that down in this blog has made me smile and appreciate that I’ve done a lot of late and I have much to look forward to.  I’ve been through a small rough patch but ultimately in the grand scheme of things everything is still very positive. The injury will improve with care, my self esteem is back in the increase and even the weather has improved slightly (for how long is anyone’s guess).  Told you this blog thing was cathartic. Here’s a little motivational poster I found on the day I had my attack of the horrors, it reminded me that sometimes we need to look back to appreciate where we are going:

Be kind to yourself, even when that voice shouts and you can’t hear anything but her.

Much love, as always,

Krissie 

xx