All progress, no matter how small, is progress

So I thought I would post an update on how I'm doing with the challenge while I continue to write the information/routines/etc for the challenge proper as it has become known in my workings.

In my last post I said this was was going to be an interesting time for me personally, due to how manic it's going to get while I get the challenge up underway as well as go through it myself, and September has proven to be a bitch of a month already.

While I have yet to film any of the workouts, I have done the bare bones of the routines, and am fine tuning them ready to film them - plus I have the arduous task (not really but I like that word) of listening to reams of rock and metal to use as the background music to get the people who will be

undertaking the challenge pumped.  I really hope the music I'm picking will work for them as much as it works for me.

The end of the first week of my personal challenge saw me attend my hobby weekend of live action roleplay and usually I partake in far too much alcohol, but this year I was very well behaved on that front.  Also due to not being a staff member this year, I no longer have access to a kitchen so was forced to improvise as best as possible while still having to venture to the burger van in the evenings for dinner. Not ideal but when that is the only food vendor on site you have no other choice really.
The plus side of the hobby, is the amount of running around that is undertaken when in game. It can be none stop walking from game start at 10am to finish at 2am. I was thrilled to do a number of hill sprints and not have any niggles from the old IT Band.  It feels wonderful to be back to full strength after a year and half.

Last weekend also saw the start of my Spartan season, with the Cambridge Sprint.  I did full review of the race for those wonderful folk over at Mudstacle.  Their site is well worth checking out if you fancy doing obstacle course racing/mud runs. OCRs genuinely put the fear of the gods into me.  I have no idea what's coming up in the way of obstacles, I just know I'll be tested.  I also know that the terrain can be damned tricky to run on and I'm always wary of turning over on my ankle. The race was good fun, it always is, even when I arrive with a knot in the pit of my stomach and all rationale telling me to get in the car and just go home. But if I listened to that voice, I wouldn't be doing the job I do now... so!

The one thing I do need to invest in somehow is a rope to climb, but my ceilings are low so it wouldn't work in the house gym.  No I need a rope climb somewhere where it's going to challenge, so I may have to chat to the boys at the gym I attend.  This weekend the band has a gig in County Durham, and the morning after we are racing in Yorkshire. So another busy weekend ahead. And while I am off on the road I thought I would do an update with where I am at the 'almost' 3 week mark.

So the 'almost' 3 week stats:

• Waist 34 1/4 inches (loss of 1 inch)
• Hips 40 inches (loss of 1 3/4 inches)
  
  • Ratio: 0.85 (down from 0.87)
• Weight 159.4lbs (loss of almost 3lbs)

I'm not going to test my body fat until week 8 as I require the help of one of my fellow PTs to do the caliper measurements for me. But all in all for just under 3 weeks that's not a bad at all.  I'm very chuffed with that. As I stated before, for me this challenge isn't about weight loss it's about fat loss and building my strength.  So it's all going in the right direction, which gives me great hope for how my challengers are going to do if they work at it.  And that, I suppose is the crux, even though I've had a weekend where my options weren't the best they could have been I've still maintained the programme I set myself for the most part, and the poof is in the results.

I will probably do a week six update, although I may just post my stats a week Monday when I return from Scotland to see how I'm continuing.

Until then, if you want more information about the challenge then please see the KrissieKirby.com blog and sign up to be the first to know when registration opens.


As always be kind to yourself,
Krissie
xx

First of 4 mudpits, after a lovely barbed wire crawl!

Screw you, fire! \m/

Bring it, boys! Was in fact what I said here, for real!

 A small selection of pictures from the race on the weekend, with thanks to Epic Action Imagery.

The dreaded BEFORE pictures!

It's always the same.  I take lots of pictures of my progress and rarely put them up.  Yet for the challenge that will be launching at the end of September, I am going to be asking my awesome participants to take a series of before pictures so that when they finish the challenge they have a tangible view of how they have done, as well as a set of measurements etc.

So while I am undergoing the testing and planning phase of this challenge, before I launch it on 12 excited people, here are my 'before' pictures.  In general I am pleased with where I am, but there is always room for improvement and I do feel that I could do with getting rid of some of the fat that I have around my body.  I want to feel tighter and less floppy (as I told you before it is a highly technical term that...floppy).  Also by being very public about my own trial of the challenge, I am forced to practice what I preach, as all of us personal trainers should to be quite frank. Why on earth would I have you pay me to offer something I wouldn't do myself? Just doesn't make sense.  Also this is most definitely about what the individual wants/feels for themselves, so before any comments of 'but you look great' come through - thank you I feel great, I just want to feel even better and that's no bad thing :)

What will be fascinating, on a personal level, is that during this 12 weeks, I have a hobby weekend, 3 Spartan Sprints, a Spartan super, a half Marathon, my best friend's wedding, and a whole host of gigging on top of working with clients, teaching bootcamps etc and all the daily paperwork that goes with owning your own business. So juggling this challenge and all that as well as getting all the background for the challenge set up is going to make for a VERY interesting and exceptionally busy time. In short of I can do it.... remember, NO EXCUSES! ;)

So here goes, these were taken on August 14th and I shall take the final pictures on Sunday 3rd of November.

If you are interested in learning more about the 12 week Challenge which will be starting on Monday September 30th 2013, and you'd like to register your interest, then please visit the Official KrissieKirby.com Blog

Until the next time, be kind to yourself always

Krissie
x

Challenge accepted

So for those of you that read the krissiekirby.com blog, you will have seen that I'm taking up my own challenge for 12 weeks to improve my eating habits and fitness levels.

I know some of you may be thinking that there is nothing I could/need to change about my current habits but rest assured there are and most trainers fall into a habit of sorting plans and nutrition for their clients while sacrificing their own regimen. Well, I have fallen foul of that in the last few months since I started the business and it's starting to show.  I feel lethargic, lacking in energy, motivation and my discipline has gone out the window with the chocolate wrappers that once held the bars I've been vehemently scoffing.

It's time to reset and get myself back in order, after all I am my product and I can't expect anyone to buy my services if I look all loose and floppy (these are highly technical terms, honest 'guv!).

When I started KrissieKirby.com the idea was not only to have the physical face to face side but also a virtual arm, where I could take on a small number of clients and give them something structured but with a degree of flexibility and be adaptable for their particular circumstances, as no two people are the same.  Of course this virtual system has to be put together and tested, tweaked and perfected, and so far it's taken a bit of a back seat to the rest of the business while I concentrated on getting Forest Fitness and Pole Port Talbot up and running. At the same time, my own training schedule fell by the wayside even though I have had runs and OCRs to train for.  I have been more than lackadaisical. 

So today I put out the initial feelers for the first 12 week programme. The idea is that for 12 weeks, 12 participants will follow my plan, with some minor amendments to personalise the plans to each participant and for me to help them get back on track; with a view to really seeing a change in their lives in general, not just in their waistlines.  But as with all things I do, I'm not prepared to let someone do something I won't. So instead of a focus group I've decided to do the challenge myself and blog, vlog and log about it to show how achievable it is.  Yes, I am putting my name to the test and why not?  I believe so much in what I do that I'm willing to put my own journey out there (or on here) for everyone to see, similar to when I first started this blog. I'm just going to put this here, first as last, that there will not be any meal replacement shakes, or 'nutritional' shakes included in this plan. I firmly believe that with the correct planning and education you can maintain a well balanced diet and a single multi vit tablet is just as good if you are defitient in any nutrients and aren't able to get them from your food.  Just to be clear :)

So here goes!

I believe that the weighing scales are purely an indicator of our relationship with gravity. Most people don't believe that I am over 11 stone in weight when I tell them, but it's true. I've got good muscles ;) but I do have a higher than I would like body fat percentage (currently at 28%) and my waist to hip ratio is slightly higher than the recommended number.  So this is where I want to focus my attention and fat loss is what we're always aiming for. There is a phrase I've just used that is key to this, 'higher than I would like", this is important because fat loss and healthy living is about the person on their journey and how they feel.  So I'm really not bothered what happens on the weight side of the issue, for me personally it's more about the hip to waist ratio and body fat percentage going down.  If I lose a few pounds in the process, I'm not complaining but I don't want to lose muscle, as muscle is most definitely the fountain of youth.

My starting stats:

Weight - 162.2lbs

Waist - 35 1/4 inches
Hips  - 41 3/4 inches (giving a waist:hip ratio of 0.87)

Body fat percentage - 28.30%

I will be on week 8 of the challenge when it officially launches, so as I work towards the launch I will do an update of my stats every fortnight as well as blogs and vlogs in between, so you can see how I get on. It's going to be an interesting experiment and one that I hope will inspire 12 souls to embark on and let me help them show them what they can achieve.

So until the next blog, be kind to yourself always, YOU ROCK!

Krissie
x

One month since self employment, challenges, and life in general.

So it's been just over a month since I packed in the old 7:30-6 and became a full time personal trainer and I have to say I think it is the best idea I've ever had. I am more focused now, than I have been for a very long time. I have more energy, more spring in my step.  I am smiling more than ever and I am happier than I have ever been. It is amazing what giving up your job that you loathe can do for you.

I currently have a mix of PT and Pole clients and all of them are at different points in their progress, which keeps me on my toes to make their workouts as fun and as interesting as possible.  The last I thing I want is for their hour with me to become samey. So I'm continuously researching ways to keep things interesting and it keeps it interesting for me too.  I tend to try all new exercises out on myself first, so I can really feel what's working where, which in turn helps me to explain it better to my clients. It's a win win really.  I am also very blessed that my clients are enjoying it, and keep coming back. They work hard and they make me very proud indeed.  Suffice to say, this is the best move I ever did and I love my job so much that it's really not work any more.  There is no, 'oh god I need to do this that and the other', it's more 'ooh right, that could be interesting, let's give that a try'.  Everything is brighter and generally more positive.

My eating patterns have been a little squiffy of late, and I have fantastic sweet tooth cravings again but I think this is due to the increase in my own training.  I am now able to train three times a week on pole techniques etc so my strength gains there should improve no end as well as regaining my confidence with tricks and inverts. I have also fallen back in love with running, probably helped by the fantastic weather we've had the last two weeks.  On top of that I'm doing some strength training (either at the gym or at home) three times a week and I've also added in 20 mins of flexibility every day while doing vocal exercises which is something I had been meaning to do but could never justify the time with the pressure of the day job. It is amazing the sense of freedom I now feel.

So with the running comes the challenge that is in the title of this 'ere blog.  My bestie decided that, with all this running I'm now doing, he would throw down the gauntlet and challenge me to join him in the Nottingham Half Marathon in September. 

After talking to my physio and being further along the rebuilding road from injury than I thought I was, the physio has said there is no reason (unless my knee says otherwise during the training) that I can't do the half marathon in 22 weeks time.  He also, after we initially thought June was too soon to attempt a 10km, has cleared me to do 10km at the start of July, again on the proviso that if my knee plays up I cease and drop back to where I was comfortable with my training and slow the increase in distance down.  The important thing that I needed to hear was when he commented, 'You are a fitness professional and you know your body better than anyone else, I trust your judgement to be sensible.' A timely reminder that I can't push it too hard and that we all need to listen to our bodies as they will always tell us when something's amiss.  He's a top fella.  And it's true, if I push my knee too fast too soon and the IT band irritation kicks in, I can't work.  I won't be able to demonstrate exercises, it will take at least 4 weeks for my knee to get back to full functionality so that I can demonstrate squats etc and at the moment the last thing I need is to not be able to work. So I'm being very sensible and I've managed to increase my distance to 4.35km without incident. *touches all available items made from wood*.  I am getting my own back on the best bud, and he has to join me in a obstacle course race. I'm thinking it might be too mean to get him to do the Spartan Beast (a half marathon with obstacles) but should he wish to embrace the challenge he's welcome to join me.... *throws down my own gauntlet*.  I will be running the Nottingham Half for Breast Cancer Campaign in honour of my cousin Mads who is doing well from her fight against breast cancer.   And as usual I'll be running the Race for Life in July (this is my 10km race, possibly with CJ again or if she's unable to make the same race she'll be running the Cardiff 10km RFL) and I'll be posting the links to the sponsor pages soon.


As for life in general, all is good.  I love my new career and have had a great session with one of my new clients this morning.  She's done exceptionally well and was happy to give everything a try once.  I absolutely am in love with life at the moment.  I have some pole niggles I need to work out, still having issues with my confidence in my inverts that I really need to punch through and get to grips with (pun intended).  But otherwise, I am having a ball.  Next step is to start the bootcamp training sessions up in my local area, although I have since discovered that the seafront is awash with people doing bootcamps, so forest based bootcamps for my clients it shall be, should be fun either way.  And hopefully I'll be doing some cover of classes for my local leisure centers.

As always, be kind to yourself, you rock!

Krissie
xx

O Brave New World...

I was going to title this blog 'When one door closes...' but to be honest, it's me who has closed the door to open a great big french window on a brave new world.  So to say when every door closes another opens would be slightly misleading in the context of this post.

Farewell desk job!

Today I have handed back the keys to my lonely office.  I have taken all my posters down, packed up my posessions in three large boxes and removed my kitchen gagetry from the corner, where they have been for the last 2 and half years.  As I cleared out the office this week, I found things that I had brought with me from the last office that I'd not looked at in all that time. Needless to say, there has been a lot of decluttering going on, and I have found it so very cathartic, almost as though I am cleansing the stress that this place has imbude upon me from my whole system.

While the job has been great in terms of money and experience within the office and the Higher Education environment, it has also been slowly sapping all the joy out of the bulk of my day.  I have to be honest, I had come to seriously dislike the person it was turning me into.  I suppose I have learned that to be happy, I do not need material things that a well paid job will bring.  I have more spring in my step now that I know I will be helping other people change their lifestyle habits with food and exercise; that hopefully some of my passion for fitness and activity will rub off on those who employ me to beast them in the gym/outdoors on a regular basis.

Here's to making it memorable :)

For years, while I was on this journey of re-self discovery, I strived to find where my happiness lay and I think that it is something all of us, at some point in our lives, will go through (not necessarily the weight loss but definitely the seeking of happiness).  I honestly thought that by losing some weight I would suddenly turn into a happy person and be completely content with my life. And for a little while it did and I was.  Once the inital 'yes I'm now a normal weight' honeymoon had worn off, I realised that I was still as miserable as sin on the inside.  No matter what I was doing, I was just desperately unhappy.  Now I had to look less on the surface and start really doing some hard work on the inside.  And that was when the lightbulb moment hit. Work was making me unhappy. Every day I would whine about things that had happened at the office or that someone had done that, while to me common sense said otherwise, they had done the exact opposite.  I realised that I was at the head of culture change in an environment that didn't necessarily want it. Now for those who know me well, you will know that change is something that doesn't frighten me in the slightest.  If it did I wouldn't have lost the amount of weight I had, and I would be still sat on the sofa indulging in 6000+ calorie meal on a Friday night.  I had to accept that while I embrace and welcome change, others view it with distrust and in some cases distain and no matter waht I did to help make the change easier to swallow, it was fought against in such a way that the anger and frustration was directed at me on a continuous basis.And that was where the unhappiness stemmed from. While I know their anger, frustration etc wasn't about me as a person it got to a point where it had become too much.

That still makes me grin like an idiot

This realisation that change was the over arching factor, lead me to look at what change I really needed to make to find my own happiness.  After a set to with a colleauge one summer and really assessing what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be in life, i realised I had to sit back and take stock.  And I think that is something everyone must do at somepoint in life.  Whether it instigates a massive life changing event or just allows us to continue on the knowldge that we are excatly where we should be is neither here nor there.  The important thing is that we are able to accertain that we are happy or not. If we are happy, more power to us, and if not then a change, on some scale, needs to happen.  For me a big change needed to happen.  I needed to find my bliss, something that would make me wake up looking forward to the day, not filled with dread and loathing. And boy have I found it.

I start officially on Monday (April 8th) when the final website goes live (only 16 months after I purchased the domain) but I'm already excited. I have 3 clients already, and a few more that are meeting me to see if I'm the trainer for them.  And while I have been offered jobs at gyms (and big gyms at that), I don't think that is the path for me.  I joke a lot about wanting KrissieKirby.com to be a global brand name.... but what if it was?  I may as well give it a shot, because what do I have to lose? Nothing really, but everything to gain. And I have never been one to live by 'what if'.

So the door on the office has closed, and here I am, hands on the push plate, ready to throw open the french doors on a brave new world.

This should be fun, hard work and long hours, but fun.

Be kind to yourself, as always

Krissie
xx

Slip not slide

Argh, I slipped!

This weekend I over indulged.  I freely admit that this Easter Weekend was a time where my brain and I fell out and emotional/boredom eating won out.  I haven't eaten that much chocolate in a long, long time or drank that much cider and though I enoyed consuming every last morsel at the time, by late Sunday evening I was sick of the sight of chocolate.

And sometimes we need to have that binge, that blow out weekend where we say 'to hell with it, I'm in this mood and I need this and this'.  That's fine.  In fact, that's only human.  The trick is to recognise it and stop the slip becoming a slide.

Get thee behind me Sugar monster!

Pandora was back with her usual snipes too. And my skin has told me what it thinks of the extra sugar in no uncertain terms, and thought I had the intention to do lots of working out my poor, tired, brain just didn't want to.  So, in true fashion, I sucked it up like a grown up and I put my trainers and kit on and headed to the gym early Saturday morning, for the first time since February (I can't wait to get in there more now the main bulk of studying is over).  And I felt MUCH better for it.  Sunday OH and I, with a bevy of polers and pals, all sauntered off to the local wetlands centre for a long walk, and much silliness followed by the feeding of a LOT of ducks.  Again having done some activity I felt a great deal better, and being out in the sun was much needed.  It does make a difference when you spend half your time couped up.

Yesterday I intended on going to the gym but found the programme I had written for myself was doable on the equipment I have at home. So a full 1hr 30 min session with long stretch was done and the gym room cleaned ready for my first clients next week.  I also gave myself a stern talking to and reminded myself that although this weekend had been over indulgent, it was just one weekend out of 52 and that I obviously needed to cave to emotional eating.  March proved to be a tough old month with Easter weekend as my only real weekend off, and even then it wasn't a true weekend off as the business kicks off next week so much was done to move towards the launch.

It really is ok to start over!

That being said, I recognised that I was having a slip up from my usual healthy eating habits and that's fine. It's part and parcel of healthy eating. When you adopt a healthy lifestyle, you will get instances where you stumble off the plan you've set for yourself, and that's fine, it's going to happen.  Life's stresses get in the way and there will be times when you just need to have a blow out in whatever manner it takes.  Just don't let it continue on for too long or you'll slide back into old habits and undo all the good work you've done.  This isn't a diet, this isn't something we pick up and put down then harrang ourselves with because we failed.  There is no failure in healthy living, there are just slips every now and then, and we learn to recognise they are needed.  There is lots of trail and error, and figuring out what works for you and how you can plan your time to make things work.  But that's not failure in the form we usualy recognise, it's the type of failure that preceeds success because some parts of the attempt worked. All we do now is refine the process until it works for us, because everyone is different in their mindset. There can never be one size fits all, we are all so very different.

So yesterday my emotional eating trigger got a bollocking, and today I feel far more positive and back to my usual happy self.  I've had my slip, got a little bruised from the fall, and picked myself up, dusted myself off and looking towards a bright shiny new week....my last one in the full time grind (that might also explain the week starting out in a very positive fashion ;) )

So slip, don't slide, give yourself a break for having the slip, mark it down to one of those days and then get back on then healthy wagon as quickly as you can.   You will soon notice the slips become far less frequent andthe slide non-existant.

Have a great week all and as always, be kind to yourself

Krissie
xx

Following your dream......

So today I resigned from my 9-5 desk job (or, as it has been recently, 7:30 - 6).  This is a huge step, this a definite leap into the unknown. But it's been something that I know I've been heading towards for the best part of two years.

When I started this blog I was already getting questions from people on Facebook, about how I had lost the weight and what I recommended. That gave me the inital idea for No More Mrs Fatty McFat; a hope that by documenting my weightloss and the pitfalls, highs, the education I gained etc that there would be information enough for someone to find and say 'That's what I needed to hear, that's the same as what I tried' etc.  I realised through answering some of the emails and comments that I got through, that there was a plethora of people (not just women) that wanted someone who understood what they were going through to help give them some solid advice. Most had said that when they have joined a gym, some lythe young adult not long from Sports Science degree at Uni was asigned as their inductor at the gym. The person that they were trying to get to understand their issues had never been fat, had never suffered the utter deflation that these people had, and to them it was exceptionally off putting.  Many never went back to the gym after that inital induction and are debating still if they should return.

I realised that I had a vantage point that the Instructors these people had been to didn't have. I have been obese, I have battled with the voices in my head that tell me I'd never be good enough, I have had those 3am binges where you eat until you are sick, I have had the angry screams at myself for allowing myself to become so hideous that I was afraid to leave the house.  I have been there, and I remember all too well what it is like to be that scared, unhappy person. So in August 2011, I decided I wanted to change my career.  I had changed jobs the year previous with a promotion of sorts in work. The job was very well paid but exceptionally stressful, often lonely and at certain points of the year had long hours (the height of festival season no less, so that scuppered the band a little) and I was utterly miserable.  I had spent so long on sorting my health out that now my inner peace and joy was being sucked out of me by the one thing that I felt I had no control over.

Wrong!  And I know fine well that that was wrong. Had I not taken back control of my health? Was I now just putting those fears onto something different? Yes, yes I was. That August, after a rather turse few words with a colleague that left me in a bit of an emotional state, I sat with OH and confessed how unhappy I was with my work life. That I had no joy in the bulk of my day as I sat behind a desk, lifelessly inputting, sorting and arranging data; that ultimately I felt as though I was being suffocated from the inside and needed to refocus my life. We sat and made a pros and cons list about giving up my job and the pros serverely outweighed the cons.  We talked at length about whether we could afford to drop to one income for a while, while I worked on building a client base etc, and I often have wondered if that was a selfish thing to ask of OH and a lot of responsibility to place on his shoulders.  But as he always tells me, we are a team, and when one of us needs to pick up the slack to ensure the other is back to a happy medium, then so be it.  (He's pretty awesome). The decision was made. I was going to re-train and become a Personal Trainer.



It really is, it's how we learn.



After much working out of finances, I realised that although I would have liked to have finished in the job sooner, March 2013 was going to be the goal. So the plan went into action. For the best part of 18 months, I have retrained so that I can offer an all round package for a variety of disciplines. I am a qualified Gym Instructor, I am a qualifed Pole Instructor, I can take small group training and am in the process of completeing the final modules for the Certificate in Personal Training as well as the Exercise to Music qualification so I can teach the myriad of cardio and strength based larger group classes that are out there.  I have done it, I have taken a dream that came from something I had once thought would never be, could never be me.  I want other people to feel what this feels like, that you can take back the control on your health and ultimately your life.  It's a pretty amazing feeling.

I was very touched the other day to get the following message from a friend, someone I met through a hobby:

Today I had a University interview, and they asked me to talk about someone who inspried me, and what I feel I could learn from them.  I told them about you, how you've changed your life in such a great way, and are now living the life you dreamed of.  I told them how inspired I've been by your determination, your kick-ass enthusiasm and how you don't let yourself be the cause of your own failure (by not making excuses to work out etc.)  You really show the rest of us how it's done, that if you want something and are prepared to work hard enough anything is possible. Thanks so much for that.

How awesome is that?  I'm so touched that she thought of me for that answer, and I'm fiercely proud that she's following her dream, and requalifying in what she honestly wishes to do.  Go Girl! It's hard to say, 'right that's it, I'm throwing off the security blanket and giving this a shot'.  But if you have things in place and support from wonderful people, (my friend has her partner's full support also, which is fantastic), and you can cleary make a run for it, then do so. Life is far too short to spend thinking 'what if...'.  Take it by the horns, life is meant to be lived.  And if you read this and think 'there is no way I could do that', then's that's fine, too. Sometimes the timing isn't right, sometimes we have to go a little further along the path to really see the exit.  But never say, never!

I'm not so naive as to think that I will walk out of this job and straight into a 10 clients, 4 bootcamps, 10 pole students a week lifestyle.  Oh no, I'm not that green!  I know it's going to be tough.  I know that I'm going to be working most of the day to drum up business and teaching very little to start, but eventually it will even out.  I know running my own business will be a challenge (I have been self-employed before) but I'm looking forward to it. Most of all, I'm looking forward to not having to think of something to make me smile when I get up in the morning, as there will be plenty to smile about.

So here's to the next chapter, it all starts on April 8th 2013!

Be kind to yourself, as always

Much Love

Krissie

x

A revamp to the website coming soon!

That's one off the Bucket List

Last year when OH's cousin Jim passed away at the very young age of 36, it really brought it home that life is short.  Yes it really is, if you stop and think about it for a few moments.  How quickly has 2012 gone by?  Have you noticed that as you are getting older, the time seems to move much faster?  Have you found yourself remarking that 'crumbs, 2013 came around awful quick'? That's life being short, that's life moving fast and if we're not careful there will be things we wanted to do but 'didn't find the time for'...I really dislike that excuse.  So it frustrates me when people say, oh life isn't short at all.  In the grand scheme of things, yes it is, we are here for a fleeting moment so let's make the most of it!

Live!

Sorry, getting on my soap box again, aren't I?

Where was I? Oh yes, so after Jim passed away, I decided to finally make a list of all the things I wanted to try, and to carry on adding to it.  I have started to put them on a board on my Pinterest account (feel free to have a browse around my mad pinnings if you're a Pinterest pinner).  One of the ones on my written list was rock climbing.

I have a very rational fear of falling and hitting the ground as a sloppy mess, I dislike heights for the most part as well but this is something that I know I can get over with some work, the fear of falling though I'm not so sure.  CJ and I were looking for something different to do as part of my belated birthday treat.  The downside of having a birthday so close to Christmas is that it's usually difficult to get everyone together to do something, as we're gigging or there are office parties, or a myriad of other things... oh and Christmas itself of course.  So I tend to not really bother celebrating my birthday, but this last year I decided it's worth doing something to mark the occasion, even if I have to leave it a month or so.

So we had decide we would try rock climbing, and as luck would have a coupon for a sizeable discount appeared in our inboxes from one of those coupon companies the very next day.  I rang the climbing centre and instead of £12 for a taster, it was £5 each.  Wonderful, it appears the Universe agreed that we should go and give it a try. (I love little signals like that, coincidence or not, it doesn't matter I still take it as a sign it's the right move).

Three of the walls we climbed.

Off we went to Boulders in Cardiff to have an hour and half taster session of indoor climbing.  And you know something it wasn't as bad as we anticipated.  Neither of us froze on the wall. Neither of us screamed to be taken down. And although some of the climbs were more difficult than others, we attempted them all and did the best we could. And that's something to be very proud of, by both of us for both of us. We didn't give up, we didn;t stand hands on hip looking blankly at the wall thinking 'there is no whay we can do this'.  Oh no, we took the walls on and no matter what we were going to keep giving it a go.

It's the first 'done that' on that bucket list. And why not? Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed and filled to the brim with the good stuff.  In my last entry, I talked about celebrating the little things, and this is one of those things that I can now look back on and say 'I did that, I took on a fear of mine and I proved I can do anything'.  We celebrated as only we girls know how, with a coffee anda small slice of cake for me and a panini for CJ, and talked about all the other stuff that we want to do together and with our respective OHs.

Sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zone to truly know what we are capable of, and you may surprise yourself at how strong, determined, and daring you can be. So the bucket list is filling up with the crazy, the cool, the scary and the silly and I'm looking forward to ticking more off.

Until next time, be kind to yourselves
Krissie
Xx

Celebrate the little things...

Happy New Year. I hope you all had a wonderful festive season?

So this entry started as a Facebook update, but I soon realised I had more to say than a status update will allow, as usual, so here is a quick blog.

I had a great session in the gym last night.  After all the trouble with my IT band irritation and all the recovery I've done for that, then hyper extending my hamstring before Christmas, I was very worried that I would have lost a lot more strength than I have.  As a few of you may have read, when I developed IT band irritation and it persisted, I was told to rest by my physio and to cease with heavy lifting in favour of body weight exercises in what is known as active recovery. Knowing very well that all I would be able to do is maintain cardio fitness by swimming and easing back into running, I took his advice and knew that it would be better to return with a lower weight and rebuild my strength back up as I would have lost quite a bit of strength over the 9 weeks of recovery that I eventually took.

The deadlift

So, walking into the gym last night night, I approached the  Smith Machine with the intention of working out my 1 rep max for all my free weight exercises (for those of you who are unsure what that it, it is the maximum amount of weight you can lift in one repetition, with good form, but know that you can't lift that same weight for a second time without sacrificing form).  I would have preferred a free bar that you can add plates too, but my gym doesn't have one, only pre weighted barbells that stop at 40kg which are brilliant for when I do my sets. Working out my 1RM is important.  It helps me gage where I am in my strength but also allows me to set my weight correctly for the style of resistance system that I use on a given day (there are many styles in setting your sets believe it or not). Imagine my delight that, even though I have dropped all my heavy lifting down to almost half of where it was when I took time off to recover, I was still able to dead lift more than my own body weight.  I thought I was dead lifting my actual body weight, when I tweeted my delight last night, but actually looking at my weight chart this morning (I'm doing a body analysis thing which I'll explain in my next blog), I am dead lifting over my body weight and weight less than I though (cue huge grin). I am also back to almost my heaviest in the back squat.  To say I'm thrilled is an understatement.  I admit I high fived the OH and then did a very girly jump and dance about the gym, much to the amusement of everyone else.

A very girly dance

For you numbers people:  I weigh 74.8kg and I lifted 77.5kg in plates on the bar (not including the bar weight as it's not marked so I have no idea how much that weighs, so I'll just go solely on plates until I move to a gym with a 10 or 15kg free bar).  I am beyond delighted.  I honestly thought I would have lost far more strength than I have. It also means that I can now increase my weight correctly for the sets I want to do, and ensure I'm not cheating myself in going too light.  I love lifting heavy, it gives me a real sense of accomplishment and makes me very aware of how my body functions through the movements and how strong the human body is.  Now I am fully armed, once again, with all the details to make my workouts as effective as possible.

Stop being a slave to the scale.
It's a guide, that's all.

It's reminded me that no matter what life throws at us we are always much stronger than we realise, body and mind, and that sometimes we need to just go all out to remind ourselves exactly how strong, focused and determined we can be. Little achievements and successes should always be celebrated, they make everything else shine and put all the nonsense we subject ourselves and are subjected to, each day, into perspective.  In the weight loss world we call a success like that an NSV (non scale victory) and I think these are the more important victories.  The scale is a guide and should only be looked on as a guide, it is a number, it is not lord and master.  Or clothes are also a guide, and give us a better understanding of where we are than a number. And our achievements in any movement should be cause for a celebration of sorts. For Example: can you reach your hands further to your toes? Can you finally touch your toes, where as you couldn't 6 months ago? That's success, and a guide of improvement of some kind.  And they should be celebrated because when you have that day when that voice says something negative, or self defeating, you can say 'maybe but I can touch my toes and I couldn't do that last year.' It's a positive for your attitude arsenal. Use it, own it, celebrate it and throw it back in that voices' mug when it rears it's ugly head.

Look at what you've achieved.
Celebrate it.

These little things change your perspective from one of self defeat to one of self acknowledgement in how far you've come.  There are times we need to look behind to move forward. But don't look at them with negativity, those past things, look at them with a sense of achievement and celebrate that achievement no matter how small.  My celebration last night was to jump around the gym like an idiot with a great big grin on my face.  Yes the boys in the lifting area looked at me daft, so what?

So celebrate all your little achievements, no matter how small. They are the very things that make you remember why you are doing it in the first place.  And  if you're in the gym ask one of the trainers about working out your 1RM, ask them about lifting and techniques and they will be more than happy to chat to you about it, they may even offer you a free taster session if you are lucky.

As always, be kind to yourself

Much love
Krissie
xx

A work still in progress....

A few weeks ago my dear friend and pole instructor posted on my Facebook wall that it was about time I posted some before and after pictures of my weight loss journey. I made the excuse that I needed to scan some photos on to the computer first. Truth is, I was still fat when digital cameras become the norm and, though I tried to always be the one behind the camera, there were pictures of me in that before phase lurking on my computer and various social sites.

No matter how hard I have tried to ignore her, she's always been there, lurking, waiting, a phantom of my past scratching away in the background, and I was desperately ashamed of her. I wanted her to disappear, to vanish into the digital ether, never to return and show me what I had done to myself.

I guess I just wasn't quite ready to look at that before picture and say 'I'm sorry' to myself for being that unhappy and for letting it all get so out of control. I'm not sure what I was running away from at the time, and at the time it must have been very painful and important. I suppose part of it was losing my Grandfather to leukaemia but this downward spiral had started way before Grampa became ill.  No this started before then, but now, over six years since the before picture was taken I'm hard pressed to recall what was making me so miserable that I had pretty much given up on myself. The only good constant at the time was (and thankfully still is) my solid marriage to possibly then most understanding person I have ever met, my beloved hubby. Everything else, well it's a bit of a blur and all a bit hazy.

However, yesterday I sat with my finger hovering over the post button on Facebook with the comparison before and after picture, shaking at the prospect of allowing the social network world see how I used to be, who I used to be, the mess I used to be. And here I sat, scared of the judgements that would be dished out.

I should, and do know better. There never was any question of people being judgemental. In fact, quite the opposite. The comments I received were amazing and I am sincerely grateful to everyone who posted.  As my American cousins would say, I was feeling the love. And then it struck me. I needed to say sorry to myself, for putting my 21-30 year old self through all that unhealthy behaviour.  I know I've often talked about not listening to that voice when she rears her head but have I actually, properly said sorry to myself? Not until today, I hadn't and I meant it. I sat here, looking at the 30 year old me in that before picture, struggling to fit her hands in her jeans pocket and said how sorry I am that I screwed our 20s up. How sorry I am that I didn't look after us, and that we have come out the other side smiling, happier and far healthier.  And Pandora and I have had a good sob. Yes she will have her moments when she creeps up with her self doubt and snide remarks at how rough I might look after a gig night, but she's/we/I am only human.

So here it is, the before and after picture.  The before on the left taken in Boscastle in April 2006, and the after (although I still have another stone I want shot of) picture taken in June 2012. There is still work to be done, inside as well as out, but everything is on the upward spiral, and life is good.

Be kind to yourselves, always

much love

Krissie

Xx

Knee Rehab... it's going to take time!

Apologies in being remiss in updating this blog over the last two months.  It's been a busy ole time on the music side of things with the release of the album and the first dates of the tour that I've not had a moment to stop and post anything.  I must do better ;)  However, when logging in today I found I had a post fully written ready to go that I had completely forgotten about regarding my knee and the rehab that I was under taking to get myself fit again.

Rest? Really?

So come back in time with me now, to Sept 9th, the Spartan Race had finished and I was in agony with my knee. So much so that I started to put in some serious research and time into how best to cope with IT Band syndrome and how to heal myself. In the end I consulted my physiotherapist as, to be frank, he's the person who is going to know best.  His advice, REST, acupuncture, REST, massage, REST, specific exercises and, oh yes, REST.

Me to a tee!

For those who know me well, you'll appreciate that me being told to take it easy and get some proper rest is like telling the sun to stop rising, it's just not going to happen. So to hear my physio say, 'you have no choice, it's rest, massage, physiotherapy and acupunture, or you seriously pose a risk of never being able to run more than 4km again, ever', was utterly heartbreaking to hear. Devastation set in and my entire mood took a downward turn.

I live for exercise. It regulates my hormones like nothing else, it staves off the red mist that descends (far less frequently than it used to), it stops me reaching for the snack jar because it keeps me in a happy, positive frame of mind, it actually surpresses my cravings for sweet things (which is great), and it generally makes me feel good.  Everything in my day is made much more positive and joyous by the inclusion of exercise. Plus I love it. I enjoy getting all sweaty after a good cardio session. I love lifting weight and seeing if I can push myself harder.  I love doing plyometrics and seeing how far I can really take my anerobic threshold. I just plain, flat out, LOVE to exercise.

But that week and the week after, I spent much of it in a low funk. I even cried. I'm woman enough to admit it. I cried like a baby, at the prospect of not being able to compete in the Zombie Run that was coming up at the end of October.  I cried at the thought that my new found love for mud and obstacle course racing would be over while still in its infancy.  I cried at the thought that it might put the block on my dream to become a top class personal trainer in the UK.  I cried, a lot.

BUT, after my first session of acupuncture, my knee seemed to feel, well, normal.  Now I know after one course of treatment that it isn't going to be cured (and there is a distinct possibility that this IT band irritation will never be wholly cured), but my god what an amazing difference.  Seeing these weird little needles sticking out of your leg is a little..hmm..odd. And feeling them being twisted or stimulated every 5 minutes, again just plain odd. But my physio was right on two counts, 1) I slept like a baby the night of the treatment and 2) the pain comes back excruciatingly but only for a few hours and then you feel like you could do a marathon.

However, I was a good girl and I took his advice. No running at all for 4 weeks, which was hard, but eventually I didn't run for 7 weeks.  I was not allowed to do any weight bearing exercises other than body weight and no sqauts or lunges were allowed in the 4 weeks rest period.  Anything to decrease the repetative strain, as essentially that's what it is. OK so that meant TurboFire was out as well, likewise Insanity. So only the upper body portions of P90X? Yep that was good.  So what else could I do to maintain exercising and fat loss, without being tempted to get on the treadmill and squat like my life depends on it with a 30kg barbell?  Well, said my physio, get in the pool and swim! So back to swimming I went.  I haven't been swimming since I did a severe sprain of my ankle back in 2007.  So I sucked up my pride and  reinstated my membership at my old gym.  This serves two purposes anyway, as once I had the all clear I was able return to my old pump, combat and attack classes that I love so much and I have missed them.  And also pole dancing was still allowed (Get In). Add to that pilates to continue to strengthen my glutes, frequent sports massages, foam rollering and more acupuncture, and the path was well set for a full recovery. *crosses everything and prays to whoever is listening*.

So having had 5 courses of acupuncture, regular massages, lots of foam rollering, and no niggles when I eventually made a combat and some pump classes, I decided that I would now test the knee with a 5km cross country obstacle course race being chased by zombies....because that's what you do to test if you've recovered of course.  But more about the Zombie race in the next blog.  Thankfully the knee, although it did irritate and the searing heat of the IT band inflamation started at about the 4km mark again, the recovery period afterwards was far quicker.  Straight on with the ice patch after the race, knee elevated for the rest of the night at home and the next day no pain when decsending the stairs.  After the Spartan Race it took almost a week for things to go back to normal, now it's taking less than a day.  This is serious progress.

Last night was the real tester.  I hit the gym for the first time in now almost 9 weeks (I ended up with a very bad cold after the Zombie run so thought it best not to train especially with gigs the following weekend - play it safe).  I decided to go straight back into my old routine (but adjusted my weights down as I've lost some of my strength), just to see how I'm doing in the recovery stakes and thankfully I ran for my full 10 minute cardio blast on the treadmil (doing just over a mile) without a twinge.  I did some weighted squats, lunges and single leg deadlifts and still no twinges. So all in all, the rest did me good.  There is still some way to go as I'd like to do the Super Spartan next year and if my knee allows the Beast as well so that I qualify for my Trifecta. But we shall see, something this injury has taught me is that if I want it badly enough then I have to be patient and let my body heal properly.  So for the interim I'm sticking to the 5k races, but it feels SO good to be active again. It's been a hard lesson to learn.

Anyhoo, until the next entry! 

Be kind to yourselves,
Much love
Krissie
xxx