I'm still learning to forgive myself for these great big misdomenours and eventually I know that my brain will figure all this out. That the little grey cells will realise sugar isn't really needed as I'm getting plenty of polysaccarides from other sources not just that wonderful, dark, silky delight called chocolate. I know that the old grey matter will catchup eventually, but eventually in now no longer good enough. Now it's time to take the reigns off the sugar demon in my head and qwell it's cries for sweet satisfaction once and for all.
Yes it's time for self hypnosis. I'm a firm believer in the power of the mind, that you can be exactly who you want to be through training the brain. It's something that I used when I first gave up smoking and now I'm going back to it. I'm so close to my end goal. I'm so near I can see the finish line and the new me just beyond reaching our her lean muscular arms, to embrace the old hagard me and subsume her into this bright light of success with her air of gentle but unquestionable self confidence. She stands there, a shining beacon of what I can create myself to be. She's also carrying a double platinum disc with the Triaxis logo on and happens to have a certificate for trainer of the year in the other hand. (Well If i'm shrinking my size my other dreams are going to be big ;) ) I have this clear and distinct image of what I will look like at my end goal. That is now so ingraned into my thinking that nothing will stop me, except this damned demon that craves sugar.
So me and the demon have had a chat, we're having regular morning meetings where, for 30 minutes, the demon gets pounded in to the ground under the feet of that chisled, strong, lean Krissie that's waiting at the finish line with her double platinum disc and Fitness Trainer of the Year certificate.
I'm not saying I'm giving up chocolate, oh no on the contrary, but this is now chocolate consumption on my terms, on sensible terms. This is now the 'this square is suffcient and I do not need to go and retrieve the whole bar' mindset. This is now, I do not need chocolate with every cup of coffee, the 'I had fruit and a merginue shell with yogurt as a desert, I no longer need that Raspberry Ruffle at 10pm'. This is that fabled control that we all strive to gain and maintain. This control comes and goes as the journey progresses. If you've read my other posts there are months where I have it in abundance and then it disappears completely. But now I am resolved, now I feel ready to really tackle this little piece of the puzzle once and for all.
So, sugar craving demon, time for your next therapy session......