Hello there!

Welcome to the confessions of this former fatty. If you’ve opened this blog expecting it to be a quick fix, answer to everything, all knowing guide to losing weight , then I think this blog will disappoint you, sorry! There is no quick fix, there is no holy grail and there is no magic to losing weight.

This blog is simply my story and the summation of the years of dieting, failing and researching that have finally got me back into shape and healthy. I have gone from amateur enthusiast to fitness professional during this journey. All advice here is my own from my own experiences, both amateur and professional, and where professional/journal/medical information is used I cite all references giving those who did the graft their due. Please feel free to have a look around and also check out the Official KrissieKirby.com blog

Friday, 5 April 2013

O Brave New World...

I was going to title this blog 'When one door closes...' but to be honest, it's me who has closed the door to open a great big french window on a brave new world.  So to say when every door closes another opens would be slightly misleading in the context of this post.

Farewell desk job!
Today I have handed back the keys to my lonely office.  I have taken all my posters down, packed up my posessions in three large boxes and removed my kitchen gagetry from the corner, where they have been for the last 2 and half years.  As I cleared out the office this week, I found things that I had brought with me from the last office that I'd not looked at in all that time. Needless to say, there has been a lot of decluttering going on, and I have found it so very cathartic, almost as though I am cleansing the stress that this place has imbude upon me from my whole system.

While the job has been great in terms of money and experience within the office and the Higher Education environment, it has also been slowly sapping all the joy out of the bulk of my day.  I have to be honest, I had come to seriously dislike the person it was turning me into.  I suppose I have learned that to be happy, I do not need material things that a well paid job will bring.  I have more spring in my step now that I know I will be helping other people change their lifestyle habits with food and exercise; that hopefully some of my passion for fitness and activity will rub off on those who employ me to beast them in the gym/outdoors on a regular basis.

Here's to making it memorable :)
For years, while I was on this journey of re-self discovery, I strived to find where my happiness lay and I think that it is something all of us, at some point in our lives, will go through (not necessarily the weight loss but definitely the seeking of happiness).  I honestly thought that by losing some weight I would suddenly turn into a happy person and be completely content with my life. And for a little while it did and I was.  Once the inital 'yes I'm now a normal weight' honeymoon had worn off, I realised that I was still as miserable as sin on the inside.  No matter what I was doing, I was just desperately unhappy.  Now I had to look less on the surface and start really doing some hard work on the inside.  And that was when the lightbulb moment hit. Work was making me unhappy. Every day I would whine about things that had happened at the office or that someone had done that, while to me common sense said otherwise, they had done the exact opposite.  I realised that I was at the head of culture change in an environment that didn't necessarily want it. Now for those who know me well, you will know that change is something that doesn't frighten me in the slightest.  If it did I wouldn't have lost the amount of weight I had, and I would be still sat on the sofa indulging in 6000+ calorie meal on a Friday night.  I had to accept that while I embrace and welcome change, others view it with distrust and in some cases distain and no matter waht I did to help make the change easier to swallow, it was fought against in such a way that the anger and frustration was directed at me on a continuous basis.And that was where the unhappiness stemmed from. While I know their anger, frustration etc wasn't about me as a person it got to a point where it had become too much.

That still makes me grin like an idiot
This realisation that change was the over arching factor, lead me to look at what change I really needed to make to find my own happiness.  After a set to with a colleauge one summer and really assessing what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be in life, i realised I had to sit back and take stock.  And I think that is something everyone must do at somepoint in life.  Whether it instigates a massive life changing event or just allows us to continue on the knowldge that we are excatly where we should be is neither here nor there.  The important thing is that we are able to accertain that we are happy or not. If we are happy, more power to us, and if not then a change, on some scale, needs to happen.  For me a big change needed to happen.  I needed to find my bliss, something that would make me wake up looking forward to the day, not filled with dread and loathing. And boy have I found it.

I start officially on Monday (April 8th) when the final website goes live (only 16 months after I purchased the domain) but I'm already excited. I have 3 clients already, and a few more that are meeting me to see if I'm the trainer for them.  And while I have been offered jobs at gyms (and big gyms at that), I don't think that is the path for me.  I joke a lot about wanting KrissieKirby.com to be a global brand name.... but what if it was?  I may as well give it a shot, because what do I have to lose? Nothing really, but everything to gain. And I have never been one to live by 'what if'.

So the door on the office has closed, and here I am, hands on the push plate, ready to throw open the french doors on a brave new world.

This should be fun, hard work and long hours, but fun.

Be kind to yourself, as always


Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Slip not slide

Argh, I slipped!
This weekend I over indulged.  I freely admit that this Easter Weekend was a time where my brain and I fell out and emotional/boredom eating won out.  I haven't eaten that much chocolate in a long, long time or drank that much cider and though I enoyed consuming every last morsel at the time, by late Sunday evening I was sick of the sight of chocolate.

And sometimes we need to have that binge, that blow out weekend where we say 'to hell with it, I'm in this mood and I need this and this'.  That's fine.  In fact, that's only human.  The trick is to recognise it and stop the slip becoming a slide.

Get thee behind me Sugar monster!
Pandora was back with her usual snipes too. And my skin has told me what it thinks of the extra sugar in no uncertain terms, and thought I had the intention to do lots of working out my poor, tired, brain just didn't want to.  So, in true fashion, I sucked it up like a grown up and I put my trainers and kit on and headed to the gym early Saturday morning, for the first time since February (I can't wait to get in there more now the main bulk of studying is over).  And I felt MUCH better for it.  Sunday OH and I, with a bevy of polers and pals, all sauntered off to the local wetlands centre for a long walk, and much silliness followed by the feeding of a LOT of ducks.  Again having done some activity I felt a great deal better, and being out in the sun was much needed.  It does make a difference when you spend half your time couped up.

Yesterday I intended on going to the gym but found the programme I had written for myself was doable on the equipment I have at home. So a full 1hr 30 min session with long stretch was done and the gym room cleaned ready for my first clients next week.  I also gave myself a stern talking to and reminded myself that although this weekend had been over indulgent, it was just one weekend out of 52 and that I obviously needed to cave to emotional eating.  March proved to be a tough old month with Easter weekend as my only real weekend off, and even then it wasn't a true weekend off as the business kicks off next week so much was done to move towards the launch.

It really is ok to start over!
That being said, I recognised that I was having a slip up from my usual healthy eating habits and that's fine. It's part and parcel of healthy eating. When you adopt a healthy lifestyle, you will get instances where you stumble off the plan you've set for yourself, and that's fine, it's going to happen.  Life's stresses get in the way and there will be times when you just need to have a blow out in whatever manner it takes.  Just don't let it continue on for too long or you'll slide back into old habits and undo all the good work you've done.  This isn't a diet, this isn't something we pick up and put down then harrang ourselves with because we failed.  There is no failure in healthy living, there are just slips every now and then, and we learn to recognise they are needed.  There is lots of trail and error, and figuring out what works for you and how you can plan your time to make things work.  But that's not failure in the form we usualy recognise, it's the type of failure that preceeds success because some parts of the attempt worked. All we do now is refine the process until it works for us, because everyone is different in their mindset. There can never be one size fits all, we are all so very different.

So yesterday my emotional eating trigger got a bollocking, and today I feel far more positive and back to my usual happy self.  I've had my slip, got a little bruised from the fall, and picked myself up, dusted myself off and looking towards a bright shiny new week....my last one in the full time grind (that might also explain the week starting out in a very positive fashion ;) )

So slip, don't slide, give yourself a break for having the slip, mark it down to one of those days and then get back on then healthy wagon as quickly as you can.   You will soon notice the slips become far less frequent andthe slide non-existant.

Have a great week all and as always, be kind to yourself